Hopeful

Another new year and another rapidly approaching birthday. I swear not much feels too different from this time last year. That is depressing. I keep wanting more and getting impatient that it's not coming along as quickly as I'd like. Logically I know there are things that are new- my photography and etsy mainly. But it just feels like there is something missing.

December was busy and chaotic. Weaning off the antidepressants is a lot harder than I expected but I'm chugging along on that. I'm officially off wellbutrin and I'm glad but the side effects are a bitch. I've only had one incident of deep, dark, scary thoughts but it was fleeting and easy to talk about. M's strength has impressed me, it's funny to me that he's so much stronger than my XH. (And, yes, it's not ok to compare but it happens) I'm grateful that he's in my life.

There are a lot of changes ahead this year. I'm finally going to sell the house we had built, and that I'm currently living in, and buy one completely on my own. Well, M will be there but I'm determined to buy something I can afford. It's important to me that I make my own way. I want to expand my businesses and maybe start another one. I want to do some traveling. I want to reach my goal weight. I want to see where my relationship goes.

I want to continue living life and following this path I unexpectedly found myself on. It's been quite the journey already but I suspect it's leading me somewhere great. Or, at least I'm hopeful that it is!