People still suck

I feel like I blinked and now it's October. This year has just flown by, particularly the last couple of months. It feels like Summer just started and now it's over and Fall has arrived. Time really goes by faster the older you get. I'm actually relieved though because it's been a hard year for me and I'm just so over it. I'm such a hopeful, grab life by the balls and carpe diem the shit out of it person, so it sucks when I'm counting down the days for a new start.

If I've learned anything in the last few years, it's that life is hard. And dammit if I'm not sick and tired of it being so damn hard. I'm ready for simplicity and easy sailing on smooth seas. But it seems that isn't part of the plan for me, at least not yet. And yes, I know things could be worse, I know that better than most. But that doesn't mean I can't complain. There is no pain olympics or threshold to be met before a person can bitch and moan.

It's been a hard time lately with XH, with FI, with well meaning friends and family who butt their noses into my life on the regular. It seems everyone has an opinion about my life and how I should be living it. It's tiring and frustrating and maddening. Can I just live? Where were all these opinions when I was severely depressed and a raging bitch? Why didn't any of these people point out what I couldn't see about myself? Especially XH, well, mainly him. Nobody was closer to me and he didn't even throw me a lifeline. Nobody in my life tried to help me when I was desperately drowning and literally couldn't see how that was affecting me.

But now? Oh now they all rush in to point out my "failings" and where I should improve my life. So many opinions. And eventually, after hearing from multiple people, it starts to mess with your head. And you start to wonder if they are right. Because your trust in your own judgment isn't 100% since you were so obviously wrong about your marriage and husband. It's hard to trust yourself now because it went so catastrophically bad.

I need a vacation. Far, far away from all these well meaning people. Where I can sleep late, read, watch too much tv, and stare at beautiful starry skies. And ignore all these people who think they know me better than I know myself.

Bitch about it Sunday

Something has shifted and I can't quite put my finger on exactly what. All I know is that my tolerance for bullshit is super low and I'm being kinda bitchy lately. I just have no fucks to give. The poor Cowboy is just rolling with it but I can tell he's internally WTFing my attitude a lot but biting his tongue. I can't even really blame PMS because thanks to complications from my IUD, it's raging all the time. Yay for me!

So, I thought, instead of a (late) gratitude list, I'd instead make a list of bitchy/snarky thoughts running through my head. The irony of making this post of bitchiness on a Sunday is not lost on me either but ehh, no fucks to give, remember?

Anyway, I want to bitch about the following:

* Upon seeing Kanye.West and Kim.Kardashian on the cover of Vogue, my thought process was this: They're basically the poor man's JayZ/Beyonce, yes? Why would such a classic magazine risk losing all credibility by putting a chick with a sex tape on the cover? Need publicity that bad? So, Anna Wintour IS a Kardashian in disguise. Gotcha

* a good friend of mine has been telling us for months now that she was going to TTC after they bought a house, which they did last month. She just announced her pregnancy and told everyone it was an unplanned shock. No bitch, you planned it, why lie? And don't get all huffy with me when I call you out!

* a huge jet has been missing for 2 weeks and you're telling me that the world has no clue what happened? I'm not buying it. You cannot tell me that the US government doesn't know exactly what happened but isn't sharing because there were so few Americans on board. Which is super shitty of my government, shame on them.

* I adore the show HIMYM but if it ends with the mother dead, I will never watch a single episode ever again. I've invested 9 seasons with this show and to end it so shitty would really be the writers saying a giant fuck you to all the fans. I'm still pissed about how Roseanne ended.

* my guy BFF has decided to get back with his XW, who cheated on him with this best friend while he was deployed and thought she was KU by that guy. Yes, BFF, give another chance to the tramp who fucked your long time friend while you were at war for our country. That should end well.


Oh man, I actually feel better now! Sometimes, you just gotta bitch about things to clear out the negative from your mind. I am always grateful for my life and the people/things in it but sometimes, those same people/things piss me off and irritate me.  And since even I refuse to pop open some wine this early on a Sunday, this is how I cope!