My HSG was this morning and I didn't sleep a wink last night. My mind was too busy swirling around with worse case scenarios and horrible outcomes. It didn't help that C was working OOT, he's in the oilfield and works long hours. Eventually I gave up on sleep and started googling azoospermia, my new favorite thing to do. Ugh, why am I torturing myself? Anyway, luckily my appt was at 8am and I was back home and in bed by 10! It was painful and very awkward but I'm glad we did it. Dr. Insensitive (my gyno) was there and while it comforting that it would be her staring at my lady parts, it was also hard because all I wanted to do was throat-punch her for telling me that my husband is sterile. They tell me that my uterus and tubes are "beautifully open" to which I replied, "Yay, now let's fix my husband!" Which caused Dr. Insensitive to raise her eyebrows and walk out the room. Bitch, that is why I have found an RE!
Thankfully there are a couple of options in AR for me and I'm waiting on the results of C's urologist appt to make my own with a RE. So much hinges on C's appt that it makes me want to vomit when I think about it. Carlos isn't handling it too well either. He gets really sad, especially at night but we were finally able to both cry about it. I have seen C cry maybe 5 times in the almost 10 years of our relationship and it made me so mad that IF is causing him so much pain too. When I called him with the all clear results of my HSG, he got really quiet and I knew that he was thinking, "wow it really is me" so I told him "but we don't even know if I ovulate on my own yet! it's not just you!" I laugh about that now because IF make us say the oddest things to each other now. Our conversations used to be about our weekend plans, plans for the house, travel, etc and now they are about SAs, PCOS, fertility meds and doctor appts. I wish this was all just a bad dream that I could wake up from.
We're headed to the coast of TX this weekend to spend some time with our families and I can't wait to put some distance between us and IF. We really need some time to forget and gear up for whatever the urologist finds or doesn't find next week. See? I just fought back the urge to vomit. Have I ever said how much I hate IF?
Showing posts with label HSG. Show all posts
Showing posts with label HSG. Show all posts
July 23, 2009
July 8, 2009
More tests
My big appointment was Monday, the one that I was super anxious and excited for. I barely slept the night before because I was a bundle of nerves and I am so glad that C went with me. It was a quick visit with Dr. J, she ordered a semen analysis (SA) for C and a hysterosalpingogram (HSG) for me. After the HSG is done, we are going to stop the prometrium for a cycle to see if I can have a period on my own. I'm not happy about potentially wasting a cycle but what else can we do? C asked the doctor what more we could be doing to help us and she told us, "Just keep doing it." We laughed about that afterward! We're learning, that sometimes, having sex isn't the easiest way to conceive a child.
The SA was collected this morning and dropped off at the lab within 20 minutes of collection and we are very nervous to get the results. C was so shy about the whole thing, it was cute. I hate that he had to but at this point, whatever it takes! We're praying that everything comes back normal. Next up is the HSG, once AF arrives next week I'm to call and schedule the procedure. It seems pretty harmless but I'm a natural worrywart so of course this is stressing me out. I'll be happy to get it done and to get the results of both tests.
It all seems very surreal to me. I can't believe I'm dealing with IF and talking about HSGs and SAs. As I hear myself say these words, it just sounds so odd. It makes me wonder if soon I'll be talking about IUIs and IVFs. I've dealt with talking about Clomid and other type drugs but haven't really contemplated what it will be like if we have to move beyond that to more invasive methods. Having PCOS has brought this whole new world into my life, one that I wish I never had to deal with. But, God has led us down this path for a reason and I have faith that this path ends in us having a family.
The SA was collected this morning and dropped off at the lab within 20 minutes of collection and we are very nervous to get the results. C was so shy about the whole thing, it was cute. I hate that he had to but at this point, whatever it takes! We're praying that everything comes back normal. Next up is the HSG, once AF arrives next week I'm to call and schedule the procedure. It seems pretty harmless but I'm a natural worrywart so of course this is stressing me out. I'll be happy to get it done and to get the results of both tests.
It all seems very surreal to me. I can't believe I'm dealing with IF and talking about HSGs and SAs. As I hear myself say these words, it just sounds so odd. It makes me wonder if soon I'll be talking about IUIs and IVFs. I've dealt with talking about Clomid and other type drugs but haven't really contemplated what it will be like if we have to move beyond that to more invasive methods. Having PCOS has brought this whole new world into my life, one that I wish I never had to deal with. But, God has led us down this path for a reason and I have faith that this path ends in us having a family.
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