February 9, 2012

finally some good

The good thing about January? Our trip to Nashville, which was so much fun and the perfect distraction from everything else. But the moment the clock flipped to the 27th, I started crying. My first birthday without my Dad and it was a lot harder than I imagined. So sad he'll never see me age beyond twenty-eight, so sad the days keep coming and going without him. Why hasn't the world stopped? Doesn't a man like him deserve that? I think I'm waiting for some grand send-off, a really spectacular way to say goodbye once and all. Not sure yet what or how that will happen but I know that it'll come to me and that it will be amazing.

So, here I am 29 years old and feeling every minute. Why does 29 sound so much older than 28? Even 30 sounds younger than 29! I've deduced that having a 9 in your age makes it so much worse, that weird filler year before you can celebrate a milestone and start a brand new adventure. I've decided to send the last year (sob) of my twenties (double sob) off with a bang! I'll spend it grieving, yes, but I'll also spend it growing and experiencing new things. Laughing more, listening better and living life to the fullest, it's all carpe diem up in here bitches! I've told C to just laugh and buckle in for this roller coaster, so far he's doing wonderfully. I swear that man is a saint...usually anyway.

If January's theme was bittersweet, than this month's is definitely impulsiveness. Evidenced by a spur of the moment trip to Houston for 4 days...where we also very impulsively bought a new house. Yep, a new house, in our hometown!!!! Well, technically we signed a contract for the new house to be built. It should be finished in mid-July and that's when we close and pay and all that painful stuff. It's big, really big compared to our current 1362 sq ft of loveliness. The new place is more than double that with enough bedrooms for my Mom, little brother, sister and niece to live with us for now. Mom will stay forever because now she's my prisoner but the siblings will move on after finishing school and securing jobs. I am so excited and ready for this big new chapter! I am quite busy these days pinning house ideas on Pin.terest and daydreaming about paint colors.

Tomorrow is 10 weeks since my Dad passed, both unbelievable and strange. I spend a lot of time wishing he was going to live with us too and imagining how that would be. Missing him deeply and thanking him for pushing this to happen so quickly.

1 comment:

  1. I'm so sorry for your loss. You continue to be in my thoughts and prayers. A new house - how exciting! Congratulations!! And I'm glad that you enjoyed your trip to Houston :)