March 19, 2012


It's been 15 weeks now. The knowledge that time is passing by without him is simultaneously awful and relieving. It's also unbelievable. It's also a lot of other things but mainly it just sucks. Don't I have such a way with words? My therapist is pretty awesome, he has a very soothing voice and reminds me so much of Ernie Hudson. Seeing him again this week.

Things helping me cope:

* Net.flix instant streaming, guys I'm going to watch Justin Bieber low?
* Ordering Sweet Valley High books from Amazon and rereading them...bc I am clearly a teen girl stuck in the early 90's
* old school country music bc my Dad loved it and it's perfect for when you are depressed and want to shoot people
* Disney movies and sappy chick flicks- Beaches and Steel Magnolia anyone?
* magazines, you should see the stacks around the house, my recycling person must think I'm a hoarder
* Pin.terest, bc pinning cute baby stuff is SO healthy and also? the recipes look amazing! So does the dream house I am pinning together complete with a slide from the upstairs to the downstairs!
* this book, which has made such a mark on me. It is now my absolute favorite book of all time. Read it and love it.

I've decided not to mention my addiction to Amazon bc I fear C will see this and take away my Amazon rewards card. But who could resist this or this or especially this.

I miss him more and more and just want him back. How can it already be Spring? The leaves were yellow and orange when he was dying and then completely gone when he did. How are they back already? Don't they know I'd rather be stuck in Fall?

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