October 26, 2009


Sometimes I am my own worst enemy and sometimes Google is evil. I decided to search for sperm banks, you know to gather information, find some articles and all that jazz. That tied my stomach into knots and made me feel a little sad. It was such a mind trip to be looking for a man to impregnate me, I thought I had made that decision when I married Carlos. I'm not sure why but something caught my eye and made me pull out C's biopsy results for a closer look. They read: complete maturation arrest. I had forgotten about that, I had searched what it meant and asked Dr. Nuts about it. The information I found seemed to hint that complete maturation arrest could be treated, or at least we could attempt to treat it, with Clomid, steroids and such. Dr. Nuts told us, no, there is nothing further to be done. But Dr. Nuts is a small town urologist who performs maybe 2 testicular biopsies a year, by his own admission. He primarily deals with prostate cancer. Now I'm starting to think and google some more.

Now I'm wondering if there is something we can do. Maybe it's not the end of the road for us and maybe Dr. L is going to be able to help us. Hope returned in full force and then I stumbled across an email from a nestie that I had forgotten about. She said that she had found out that testicular biopsies aren't really the best way to determine presence of sperm and that they could actually do more harm than good, in the long run. Doing a search about that was confusing, some stuff I found seemed to support that but most stuff didn't mention it. I'm more confused then before and have a ton of questions for Dr. L now.

I don't want to think about it too much but something inside of me is whispering that there is much more to the story. Maybe I shouldn't be giving up on C being able to have bio children. I know one thing for sure, I can't wait for our appointment. I hope the next 11 days just fly by.


  1. I hope that you get some answers at your appointment with Dr. L. Sometimes small town doctors don't know everything, that's why there are specialists. I'm praying that everything goes well at your appointment.

  2. I'm hoping your 11 days Fly by. Dr. Google does suck somethings, but in this situation, I'm sure you can find more examples of your DH's diagnosis. I'm not sure what "maturation arrest" means when it comes it sperm but... with me and DH so far, they've said as long as it's not his chromosomes (its not), there are steps we can take.
    Hoping you get some good answers soon.

  3. I hope the time until your appt flys by!

  4. This is a bumpy road which all to often seems to bring more questions than answers. We were also at the point of looking at sperm banks when a little more searching on Dr Google found us more options which we are trying now. No guarantees, but if it doesn't work at least you know you tried everything. I really hope the next 11 days flies by and Dr L has some good options for you.

  5. here's hoping you find some helpful answers! I totally think second opinions are a good idea.

  6. Thanks for stopping by the blog. :) Come by anytime!

    I agree with you about Dr. Google...he can be a terrible nuisance but just when I'm ready to give up on him, he saves himself by spitting out something worthwhile! :)

    I enjoyed reading back over your posts...my fingers are crossed for you and I pray that you continue to have peace with your decisions.

    Here's hoping that the days fly by and that you get the answers you're looking for at the doc...

    All the best to you!


  7. Go with your gut. We faced the idea of DS. It is a very difficult decision to have to make. From my experience get as much information as you can. Your inkling that there may be more options is probably true. I wish you luck.

  8. GL with your appt. and I pray that new Uro has some answers.

    I hope that any info I give you doesn't make you freak out even more.

    Definately check out this site, it is one of the best MFI sites out there.


  9. Hi! Thanks for stopping by my blog. I've been going through your blog entries, and it has been very cool to read your entries. I feel like we have a lot in common (now I feel like a creppy stalker...) Anyways, I look forward to reading along with your journey, and I hope your appointment goes well. ~LM.

  10. If there is one thing I have learned in the past 36 months of infertility, it is not to take your doctor's word as the final word! I know Google can be confusing and somewhat frustrating, but more often than not with persistence I can at least be pointed in the right direction to look for answers. Don't give up hope! Be diligent!