People make me stabby

Taking a break from my usual grateful Friday posting to vent a little because I need it. Badly. Like, very badly. It seems I am surrounded by stupid people these days and it's enough to make me feel all stabby. As in, the next idiot that feels the need to express their tiny brain just might find themselves ambushed by this IF'er, wielding a scary looking knife or pen or tweezers or even a stick, whatever is close and sharp.

Victim Idiot #1 is the distant cousin who felt the need to tell me on FB that it was time for me to have my own babies. The FB on which I am very open about our IF struggles. With whose daughters I have talked with about our IF. Someone hand me something sharp.

Victim Idiot #2 is the friend of a relative who felt the need to lecture me about my age and how it's time for me to get startin' on those babies. What am I waiting for? Don't I know how old I am? She's perfectly happy with her children and can't see why people don't just have one after another.Which, normally, I would excuse this kind of sneaky ambush by a fertile but I know for a fact my relative has talked about my IF with this moron. She just chooses not to acknowledge it. Hand me something sharper.


Victim Idiot #3 is actually a very close friend of C's, who is very happy to have two little girls and spends an insane amount of time telling who ever will listen that having children is the.best.thing.EVER. He gushes non-stop about his two and is constantly talking about how happy they make him, how awesome it is to be called daddy and that everyone should have a child. Hand me something very sharp.

Victim Idiot #4 is one of my BFFs, the one who is pregnant with her oops that depressed the hell out of her until she found out the sex. I've spent a good amount of time crying into this girl's shoulder and she is usually pretty cool about not being hurtful. Until last week, when she invited me to spend the ENTIRE day going to baby stores and finding cute pink clothes and cute pink nursery items and cute pink anythings. Despite me telling her that baby stores are a special kind of torture for me, one that makes me want to grab a baby and run. Or curl up in a dark room, listening to depressing music...with about 10 bottles of wine and a huge bucket of fried chicken. Hand me the still warm sharp thing from the idiot above.

I usually don't get this much stupid in such a close range of time but there must be some kind of "kick Amanda" memo going around right now. I guess I did something to piss off the universe! I think I'm handling it pretty well, I've only gone through two bottles of wine and watched the entire first season of Glee once. Oh and I *might* have ate an unhealthy amount of fried chicken, strawberry ice cream and sugar cookies. What weight gain? Clearly calories don't count after an IF induced binge. It's like a rule or something. So, I'll be spending today recycling, donating canned goods to a local shelter, smiling at people and performing random acts of kindness...anything to get the universe back on my side again. Cross your fingers it works or else you might hear about me on the news- AR woman goes on crazed rampage fueled by copious amounts of trans fats, many ferts mauled!