December 7, 2010

Nothing is ever easy

I've been on AF for about four months now, it goes from super light spotting to super raging angry heaviness every few weeks. It's driving me crazy and scaring me. So, I called my Arkansas RE but he's out of town and nobody else in the practice can see me for a couple of weeks so they suggested I call Dr. Insensitive, the horribly rude gyno that first diagnosed C with azoospermia. The one I swore I would never see again and who I have an appointment with tomorrow afternoon, our first meeting since she wished me good luck after my HSG.

I'm dreading it because I hate her with a passion but I'm also really scared of what is going on. Scared because what if it's bad news and scared because I have no faith in her ability to help me. It's times like this I especially hate having my RE eight hours away in Houston. Whom I trust because he's a doctor at one of the most respected hospitals around and because he's nice and has never told me to basically give up on my baby dreams like Dr. Insensitive did.

To make it worse, I can tell C is worried too and that makes me sad. I hate to worry him and I hate that my body sucks so bad. We've spent so much time and focus on his azoo that my PCOS and amenorrhoea took a backseat, which I now realize wasn't smart of me. Oh man, this is the last thing I want to be dealing with right now. I hate my body.

Can you spare any thoughts and prayers that everything goes smoothly tomorrow?


  1. Prayers are with you- sorry you werent able to get in with your RE - i hope this ob/gyn can help. xoxoxoxox

  2. I hope your appt tomorrow goes smoothly and the Dr surprises you and is able to help.


  3. Keeping my fingers crossed for you!!!

  4. I'm so sorry sweetie - when it rains it pours. I'm going through something similar and going to the Dr today too. Big ((hugs))

  5. I'm so sorry about this. You are in my thoughts and prayers.