March 21, 2011

people suck

Nothing like being blindsided unexpectedly by people's stupidity. It's been almost three years since C and I started this journey and I thought I had heard it all before, but you know what they say about people who assume things. While I've learned to recognize the signs that a conversation is going to turn to people asking me about having children, I am still taken back when someone does. I never quite know how to respond to that and while my mind is racing with a million thoughts, that I hope my face is hiding, I somehow manage to stammer something out. Usually I just say that yes, we want children and hope people leave it at that, and sometimes they do. And sometimes they ask me when and I just tell them hopefully soon or hopefully one day or whenever the IF treatments work or wow, that is a personal question!

I am always frazzled by these questions and while my friends assure me that I handle them well, it always bums me out. Anyway, the point of this is something that was said to me when I went to a housewarming party this weekend. A really good friend of mine is pregnant and the girlfriend of another friend was grilling her about all the details. So, I knew the questions were going to swing my way and they did and I responded nicely without talking about IF. I breathed a sigh of relief and thought the worst was over....and it was, until I was saying my goodbyes.

Someone brought up a group getaway and since it was a small group of us standing there, all whom know about our struggles, I said we were interested as long as it was before IVF. Which of course caught the attention of the girlfriend and I jokingly said that yep, C and I were infertile. Which led to more questioning on her part (she's a nurse) and then came the worst comment ever. An acquaintance was standing to the side and opened his mouth to utter this to me, "That's impossible, C is too stupid to be infertile."

::crickets while Amanda successfully avoids stabbing the douche in his groin::

I was stunned and managed to roll my eyes at him and turn away. I might have said something but I can't really remember because I was reeling inside. 3 days later and I am still pissed and hurt. Too stupid, that is definitely a new one. I can take the stupid comments made to me but when someone brings C into it, it just really upsets me. It brings out the inner trailer park in me and makes me want to slash your tires, spit in your food, spread rumors about you and ruin your life. I am so mad at myself for not saying anything. Where was my inner bitch and why the hell did she fail me? I should have told him something. I probably would have if C had been there but because he wasn't and these are mainly his friends, I just didn't. Plus I was so stunned and trying to process it that I literally couldn't think.

Ugh, people suck.


  1. What a stupid asshat. I know people can be ignorant and mean, but things like this still stun me. Sorry you had to go through that...Sounds like you did it with more grace than I could have.

  2. I am pissed for you. People are insensitive assholes. Sorry!!!!

  3. People are disgusting! I think I might actually have stabbed him inthe balls with a very sharp stick! How rude!

    I am so sorry that you have ahd to face this kind of comment. Sending you big hugs!

  4. And I thought that I had heard absolutely everything ..... I am speechless. I am reading this and my mouth is hanging open. What a jerk! If I were you, I would talk to him and tell him how completely inappropriate his comment was.

  5. At first I had to check the calendar to see if it was April fools. Surely no one would be so rude and mean. But you found one that is that rude and mean.

    I am sorry.

  6. I had to think for a sec about what that even means. Is it that stupid people procreate easily? I'd say that makes me stupid... but I'm infertile too so that doesn't make sense. F that guy.

  7. People do suck! That's unbelievably rude!