January 13, 2016

Planning Ahead

Things have been just insane lately. I kinda need a vacation far, far away from it all! Getting engaged was SUCH a high but my nephew being born so premature was, and has been, very difficult. Getting the house ready to be on the market and hiring a realtor has been absolutely draining. Because it's meant that XH has been around and he is just exhausting to deal with. Plus touching up paint, packing closets, and staging rooms just isn't the most fun when all you want to do is cuddle on the couch and watch tv!

But, we accepted an offer today so the countdown to the end is on and I am so thrilled! I am more than ready to move on to the next chapter, one that doesn't include communication with XH for any reason. I don't hate him, but I don't like him either, so putting up with this massive mood swings is the suck. We are touring places and narrowing down our list, it's a great feeling to be planning for the future. We also toss around wedding ideas and ignore everyone chiming in with their opinions, because of course people are. For sure a destination wedding, probably a secret one with maybe 10 people present. I'm leaning towards New Orleans but Vegas sounds fun too.

My sweet preemie nephew is now 4 weeks old and the most handsome baby in the NICU! He's gaining weight steadily and making progress that pleases his doctors. Which is great but there have been setbacks that have been hard. And emotionally it's very tough to see him there and to watch my sister and BIL dealing with it all. He still has a long road ahead but we're hopeful, of course. He really is the cutest baby, very feisty and charming! His smiles are adorable and I'm already wrapped around his tiny fingers. I love being an aunt, it's the best.

I still have an empty ute, which was very obvious over the holidays. I'm truly not expecting anything to happen. The IUD messed my body up and my cycle still hasn't returned. I'll be 33 at the end of the month and as each birthday passes, it just seems less and less likely that I will be ever be a mom. I've made as much peace as I can with that idea but sometimes it stings and just over all sucks.  Once an IF'er, always an IF'er I guess.

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