July 27, 2009
Our beach getaway was wonderful and just want we needed! IF crossed my mind exactly twice and other then that, I was blissfully happy. Even C relaxed and had a great time, I was so happy to see him goofing around and playing in the water. The weekend went by way too fast and a couple of sunburns later, we're back home waiting for our appointment this Thursday. A follow-up SA will be done this week as well but I'm not stressing over it. I'm actually not stressing over the urologist appointment either and C is ready for it to be over. We are both just ready to know what is going on, if we can do anything about it and what lies ahead for us. It sucks being in this limbo of not knowing if a biological child is in store for us.
The drive to Texas takes us 8 hours and we were about 30 minutes from our destination, when out of the blue, C told me that he'd love to adopt a child. I was floored and immediately burst into tears. All week, my mind has been turning more and more to adoption and to hear him say that, just made my heart overflow with happiness. We had discussed donor sperm and decided that we didn't want to go that route and when I first brought up adoption, C wasn't willing to consider it. His change of heart means the world to me. So, this means that if we hear devastating news on Thursday, while we will grieve over the loss of our chance to have biological children, it isn't the end for us. One day, we will be parents.