Today was just one of those days where IF was a heavy burden to bear. I've spent the past week playing phone tag with Dr. L's office trying to figure out if our insurance is covering any of the procedures and if not, how much we have to bring..er, save, for the procedures. I've also been dealing with my sister and her problems, while helping her care for her four month old daughter. It's emotionally exhausting being around a baby 24/7 when dealing with IF. I'm not bitter but I sure as hell am sad. Plus C's company cut our insurance plan and we're trying to find out if they will still cover all the meds we will need for IVF. We still have insurance, just with a MUCH higher deductible and pathetically small IF coverage.
Tomorrow is my IVF consult with my RE, the one where I assume we will discuss costs, medications, time-lines and how to work with Dr. L in Houston for sperm retrieval, freezing and mailing to Little Rock. Plus success rates, if my RE has ever done IVF with this type of logistics and whether or not he thinks it'll work. I might just end up using a clinic in Houston that a nestie (the nest) recommended to me. The clinic in Houston is much cheaper but it would be a real pain the arse to cycle in Houston with C still in Arkansas. C and I are also discussing just how we're going to pay for IVF, that is a scary conversation! I wish we were millionaires!
I was just grumpy as hell today, angry at no one and everyone. I just want a really good cry but won't let myself while my sister is here. She's here for ten more days and after that, I'm going to sit on the couch and cry my eyes out.
10 days before you can cry? Girl.. your going to burst! Sometimes you have to let it out.. go take a shower and cry your heart out. By the time you get out, you'll feel better and your sister won't know a thing. :)
ReplyDeleteI agree with Michelle. You need to have some time to yourself to cry. The shower sounds like a great place. I can't imagine how stressed out you are. Having your sister visiting with a baby and dealing with insurance and trying to make plans for IVF all sound so stressful. You deserve a good cry.
ReplyDeleteI hope that your IVF consult goes well and gives you a lift. It's such a lot to deal with, I'd say cry. Or do something else that helps, at least treat yourself this weekend. With hugs.
ReplyDeleteYou are being so brave by keeping everything inside. Maybe you should let it out? Don't beat yourself up for feeling grumpy, angry and sad. IF sucks and brings out the worst emotions. Hang in there.
ReplyDeleteIt's hard, I know. IF is hard enough to deal with mentally and emotionally and then when you have to factor in the cost of the treatments as well, it becomes unbearable! Plus, having your sister and her kid around makes everything extra hard for you. Please take care of yourself and find a private place to cry if need be. Bottling up emotions for 10 days is not a good idea.
ReplyDeleteBest private place to cry is in the shower. Go do it and let some emotions out. Hugs.
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