November 22, 2009

my RE

Amazing how much better you feel after a good cry in the shower, away from people who don't know how to comfort you and away from the husband who feels guilty about the tears. I listened to you and cried in the shower, it was such a release and I felt much better on Friday to see my RE. No matter how far I think I've come in dealing with IF, the day before and the day of our appointments never fail to send me in a downward spin. I can never sleep the night before an appointment and usually cry in the car after we leave one. Drives me crazy because even good appointments cause my insanity to surface. We heard nothing but horrible news for so long that now the good news makes me nervous and scared/anxious/sad/all the emotions listed in a thesaurus. But whatever, I'll just bury it until our next appointment!

Anyway, I have good news! I don't have any STDs...Woot Woot! My RE actually apologized to me when he told me about the required STD testing for IVF and assured me that I would pass, which made me laugh. Carlos is next up for his STD screening and I hope to take him this week to get it over with. Since AF and I haven't been on speaking terms since July, he prescribed Provera. He also informed me that I am not insulin resistant and just have plain ol' PCOS so no Metformin for me. That annoyed the crap out of me because I really wanted the Met. I'm going to do a little digging to see if any non-IR PCOS ladies used Met successfully to help with the other lovely PCOS symptoms like acne and hirsutism. I was on 1000 mg of Met for three months and other then losing 3 lbs, nothing else happened on such a low dosage.

He prescribed me Yaz to help with the PCOS. Oh the irony of being on BCP when you're TTC! I am terrified of the Yaz because of Dr. Google. I have liver disease, why in the world would my RE prescribe Yaz to me?! I'm going to call him tomorrow and ask about that. I'm not 100% comfortable with my RE, I don't have much confidence in him. Granted, I've only seen him twice now but I left this last visit feeling like he wasn't the best for us. I just have a feeling about him, not sure if it's genuine fear or just nerves. C is working out of town and when he gets home we're going to have a long talk about it and I'm going to see what he thinks about my RE when he goes in for his STD bloodwork before making a decision to switch or not.

If I stay with my RE, looks like we are on track for IVF next year. We're aiming for the summer to give us time to fight our insurance company to cover it and save if they won't. Right now everything just feels scattered and unorganized, I hate feeling this way. Once Thanksgiving is over and my sister and niece are back in TX, I'm going to focus on getting everything back on track.


  1. So very glad you cried! I know that sounds crazy..but I'm glad you let it out. If the strange feeling about your Re is a real feeling and not just nerves you should find one you really I like. I'm going to my 2nd Re in Dec.

  2. I am sorry that you don't feel comfortable with your RE. I hate it when I don't feel comfortable with my doctors. I am glad that you cried in the shower and that it made you feel better.

    I agree with you in that once your relatives are gone and Thanksgiving is done, you can get back on track again. Having people at my house always throws me into a tizzy.

    And, congratulations on having no STD's! Yay for you!

  3. I'm so glad that you were able to let out some of these emotions. I do think it's very important to not keep it all bottled up.

    I'm sorry that you're not comfortable with your RE. I hope that you are able to come to some resolution with that soon.

  4. If you're not comfortable with your RE you might want to look for another RE. You will be entrusting this doctor with your hopes and dreams and I think it's important to have complete confidence in him. I'm glad that you were able to let some of your emotions out. Crying sucks but it can actually be beneficial sometimes by helping you to not feel so bottled up with your emotions.