November 14, 2009

Getting in gear

I have been so overwhelmed and unable to focus on the good that came out of our second opinion, it’s really annoying. All I ever seem to think about is sperm, ovulation, doctors, medical bills and it’s a lot of what I talk about too. I swear I used to be interesting and have a sense of humor! IF already messes you up enough without it completely taking over your life. I really have to kick my butt in gear and start being happy. Or at least try. I really just can’t keep going down this same path of fear, doubt and sadness, it doesn’t help.

I mean, come on! We found sperm! The doctor thinks we’ll be able to get me pregnant! IVF is no walk in the park but I can do it! I can do this. I can stare IF in the face and not blink because I will kick its ass. I will have a baby. I will constantly rub my baby bump, buy way too much baby stuff and argue over names with Carlos. I will gleefully invite everyone I know to my baby shower (or at least whomever is throwing my shower will) and I will decorate the cutest nursery, ever. I will have a baby, damnit!

I had stopped buying baby stuff for myself because it hurt so damn much. I hid what little I already had in the very back of my closet and I avoided baby sections in stores like the plague. Well…I bought a onesie. Yep, I bought the sweetest little onesie for my baby. I saw it at Target and fell in love. So, I bought it and it felt so good. It says, “wishes do come true”. Yep, they do and one day I will be holding my wish.


  1. Thank you for this post. It was EXACTLY what I needed to hear right now. Especially the part about kicking IF in the ass. I love how you said that you will have a baby!

    You will! You will!

    I like that you bought a onesie. I should consider doing that.

  2. Our wishes will come true!!! Great attitude.

  3. It will work with IVF.

    I used to be able to hold a conversation with DH without ever talking about babies or IF. I can't seem to do that anymore. I hate it sometimes.

  4. Good for you! I admire your positive attitude. Way to kick IF in the but!

    Since it looks like we'll both be doing IVF in the summer, would you like to be my online cycle buddy?