January 13, 2010

Use Somebody

Immediately following last week's post, I received a text from my BFF informing me she was in labor. Thus began my downward spiral and what was a really bad IF week. I was a mess and it pissed me off. I can't believe her having her baby bothered me so much but it did. It made me so sad and depressed which in turn angered me for being so bitter. It was an all around yucky week with freezing/icy weather, C causing an electrical mishap and our beloved Longhorns being defeated. But, after drinking large volumes of wine, beer and margaritas this past weekend, I am having a good week this week. Well, I'm fighting our insurance company to cover part of C's surgery and playing phone tag, yet again, with Dr. L's office but other then that, it's all good!

13 days until the surgery and 2 weeks until my birthday, that week can't get here fast enough. I am regretting scheduling the surgery right before my birthday but it was the best we could do with C's job. I'm also hoping that he's all cleared by Valentine's Day for some hanky panky (bow chicka bow wow!!) but given that he's having 2 different procedures done, there is no telling. I decided to ask my Mom to come along to keep me company and help me navigate the Medical Center in Houston, which I find very confusing and intimidating. She'll be in the waiting room while I sit with C before and after the surgery, so she won't be exposed to anything private!

I know I keep saying it but I am so ready to get this show on the road so we can put it behind us. I wish we could fast forward a couple of months to C's next SA, I am already getting anxious about it. I just have so many worries and questions about our TTC future. This weekend we had dinner with one of C's co-workers and his wife, we are going to become great friends, I can tell. They have been dealing with IF for about 6 years and we had such an incredible conversation. She's also a mid-wife, which I am in awe of! Here is a woman struggling with IF but delivering babies! She told me it, obviously, doesn't bother her but that baby showers, baby stores and Mother's Day just kill her, which I definitely can relate to. I didn't pry so I'm not sure what exactly is their diagnosis but I do know it's complicated and she has endometriosis. She gave me great advice and I am so lucky to have her in my life! I also like knowing that C has someone he can vent to that is so understanding.

IF is such a lonely road, it's not one you are glad to have follow travelers on, but it's comforting to know that you are not alone.

5 comments:

  1. This is a very lonely road. One filled with Hurry up and wait moments. I'm hoping good things for the surgery and glad to hear you have found real life IF friends!!
    I'm so jealous! :)

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  2. Definitely a very lonely road. I'm glad that you find support on here - and some wonderful friends who 'get' the whole IF thing. Sending you good thoughts for your upcoming surgery.

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  3. I'm hoping and praying that all goes well with the upcoming surgery! I'm glad that you found an IF friend IRL. I wish I had one of those too! Although, one of my girlfriends, whom I'm close with has been very understanding. Best of luck to you and C!

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  4. Honey it seems to me it's been a week of upas and downs (as most weeks on this journey are for us) but that you've come out fighting. I can so relate to wanting to just fast forward to the next SA, but try to ensure you are enjoying what you can of your life and not wishing it away. So much easier said than done, and if you figure out how please share your secret.

    And IRL IF friends will certainly help to ease the lonliness of this road.

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