February 22, 2010

People are stupid

We've been going to the same tax person for the past three years that we have lived in AR. She is a sweet lady and always remembers us, which is nice. This year, I could barely stop myself from throat punching her. She asked us if we finally had some dependents this year and it was like taking a punch to the gut. C quietly told her no and that we were planning IVF this year and how should we keep track of that for our taxes next year. She launched into this huge speech about adoption and timing and "just relaxing" so that nature can take it's course. She pointed out pictures of her grandkids and told us about her DIL being told she couldn't conceive. How she adopted and got pregnant right afterward, just to get pregnant again right after that one so she sent the woman's son to get a vasectomy and isn't that so funny? lololol

I kept my composure until C glanced at me and then my eyes just began to fill with tears. I just sat there, numb, listening to this idiot and fighting the tears. I was so happy to leave her office. I'm even happier that I was able to fight the tears until I got home and could cry in private. If our IVF doesn't work, there is no way I can go back to her next year.

It's taken me some time to get to a comfortable place with our IF, I'm not as depressed about it anymore and I'm trying very hard to not let it rule my life. It's much easier to get out of bed in the morning now that we have sperm frozen and a firm plan for IVF. I'm hopeful for the first time since December and it feels so good. I'm proud of myself for moving past the darkness of our initial azoo dx, I've fought hard to get here.

But, all it takes is someone laughing about a vasectomy to send me reeling. How I wish C was fertile enough to require such a thing. How I wish I was fertile enough to require getting my tubes tied or BCP. How I wish we weren't facing IF and IVF. Ugh, that stupid bitch.

On an unrelated note, a friend told me today is National Margarita Day. I am not one to go against celebrating a holiday and am enjoying a nice, big margarita. Oh how it helps ease the pain of other people's stupidity!


  1. Ughhh.. I'm sorry that happened to you!
    I feel the same way, now that we have a plan for TESE, IVF etc. I feel less depressed than I have since July and the Azoo diagnosis. I still have moments (like when idiots like your tax preparer make stupid comments) but I am mostly ok and have begun to emerge from the deep deep darkness that is PCOS and Azoospermia.

  2. It's sometimes utterly amazing how insensitive people can be! On the other hand, congrats on the positive attitude - not an easy task especially when confronted by obnoxious retards.
    Cheers (clinking Margarita glasses)

  3. I want to punch that lady for you. I HATE it when people bring up adoption and how someone they knew got pregnant right after they adopted! That happened to me with my MIL this year, and I researched it, and found that that happens such a teeny tiny percent of the time that it doesn't even count.

    I am so sorry that you had to endure that and it hurts my heart to think of you sitting there with tears in your eyes. It isn't fair.

  4. People suck!! In certain situations like baby showers and kids birthday parties I prepare myself to hear these kinds of comments but it's always the worst when it comes from an unexpected place like the tax lady!!

    I hope you can enjoy a huge margarita!

  5. So sorry! People can be so NOT sensitive to other people's situations! I would have told her to relax right before I told her to piss off! UGH

    Hope the marga made it better.


  6. It's never an easy journey. People are just so not sensitive to our feelings.

    Hope you enjoyed the Margarita

    ~Stopping by for ICLW~

  7. I would have smacked the bitch!!! It will never cease to amaze me how unaware and insensitive some people can be. I'm so sorry you have to endure that meeting. Ouch!!

    I hear AK is beautiful and it looks like my DH and I are moving there in a year for a job relocation!!

    Best of luck with your upcoming IVF!! I look forward to following your journey!!! XOX


  8. Why oh why don't people stop to think before they speak? I am sorry that she was so insensitive and rude. I hope that you enjoyed National Margarita Day!

  9. Thanks for stopping by, but how I want to karate chop that lady in the throat for you!! How upsetting! You know.. maybe if she would've started yapping before the mention of IVF, we could think, "oh she didn't know any better", but AFTER you mention it?? C'mon! Peope are stupid, and unfortunately this isn't the last time it'll be confirmed. :( I hope you enjoyed your margarita!! And I'm totally cheerleading on the sidelines for you and C and your upcoming IVF! -ICLW

  10. Happy Margarita Day! :D I'm so sorry about your tax person bringing you down. I swear, people do not realize how much their words even though they think they are being "advisable" can hurt us a whole lot! They don't realize it's a tough struggle it is until they are actually in our shoes. Screw her!!!!

  11. Wow - that is terrible that this woman was so insensitive to your situation. (Or our situation as we're all in it, no?)

    It never ceases to amaze me the situations in which I think IF could never come up in yet somehow does. And those are the worst because you are caught so off guard.

    Well, sweetie, bottoms up on Margarita day and I'll share one with you in the ICLW spirit!

    Hang in there and best of luck to you.

  12. Some people just don't get it. I think I would have lost it right then and there. Good for you for being able to hold it together until you got home.


  13. Amanda, people are stupid, and what a rude thing to ask "Do you finally have any dependants this year?" *shakes head in disapproval*

    And as far as the "getting pregnant after adoption" comment that gets my hackles out. I've been hearing that one a lot too.

    I'm sorry, no amount of "relaxing" and "not thinking about it" is going to grow my tube back and make me o on my own.

    So sorry about that rant, but I feel better :)


  14. So sorry you had to deal with that. People can be such ignoramuses when it comes to IF especially. Enjoy the margarita, cos hopefully after your IVF cycle you won't be able to have any more of those for a while ;) Crossing my fingers for you!

  15. Honestly, why people think its appropriate to say these kinds of things just eludes me. I cannot think of how, in their heads, it is justified. ((hugs))