February 27, 2010

The View from IF

I'm grateful that a talk show dedicated an entire show to IF and I'm grateful that some celebrities are willing to be so open about their struggles. Any opportunity to educate the people in my life about IF is golden in my book so I made sure my Mom, SIL and one of my BFFs watched it. I even posted about it on FB. The show annoyed me on many levels and I wish they had covered azoospermia or PCOS, hell, if they had even mentioned them I would be happy but oh well. I also would have liked more stories from couples dealing with IF, more in depth time to explore the emotions that come with IF.

What I want is for my loved ones to see the view from my eyes. I want them to see the tears I hide, the ache we have for a baby and the despair that often accompanies the surgeries and doctor appointments. I wish they could feel what it's like for us to endure all the gatherings when we're the only ones without children. I wish they could see the hell that is Mother's Day and Father's Day. The hurt of putting up with other people's stupid remarks. I want them to see how badly I wish I could decorate our nursery, rub my baby bump and show off my ultrasound pictures.

I would like to be understood by the people closest to me. My mind knows that IF is something nobody can understand unless they've been through it but my heart wishes they could.

10 comments:

  1. Your feelings are exactly how IF makes me feel. I too struggled with family/friends not understanding how I was feeling about IF. I found this video that I sent out and I posted on FB and got alot of comments about it - it's about IF from a couples point of view. I think it's pretty powerful...maybe you've seen it? Here's the link:
    http://www.tearsandhope.com/emptyarms_video.html

    Hang in there - easier said than done though...

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  2. I'm right there with you!!! I have wished for this for a long time, but I'm affraid you're right... People will just not understand it unless they have endured it. What a shame!!!

    ((HUGS))

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  3. I totally agree. Had a bad day with it myself. I wanted my cousin to come and keep me company while my husband was working and be there with me to give me my shots for ivf. She said she was going out to dinner instead! You should come on Twitter there is a whole group of us on there that support each other. A lot of us have the same problems you are facing.
    I really hope your family begins to understand you more :)!!

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  4. Alison- thank you for that link, i had not seen that and I love it.

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  5. I completely agree with you. I've been trying to explain IF to my friends, but like you said, I think it's impossible to really comprehend all that goes along with IF unless you've gone though it. Thank God for support groups! ((hugs))

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  6. They really are making those IF rounds on the TV lately huh!

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  7. Wish I had caught that show! Didn't even know it was on! I whole-heartedly agree...it would be wonderful to have them know/understand and "feel" an ounce of what we go through...but the reality is, there is very little empathy when they haven't been through it...sympathy and pity perhaps, but not empathy. Reach out to the IF community and continue writing your blog! That will be your voice!
    Thanks for stopping by my blog
    (Stress Free Infertility)! Just added you on! Happy ICLW!

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  8. Perhaps this show will help them to understand how you feel. I hope so.

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  10. good~ keep sharing with us, please....I will waiting your up date everyday!! Have a nice day........................................

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