March 9, 2010

No place like home

By chance, C had work training in Houston this week and I tagged along so I could spend some time with our families. While I'm happy to have the time with C, I'm wishing I had stayed in AR. I am just miserable and can't wait to get back home. The humidity isn't helping my mood much either or my hair for that matter, ugh.

I have been feeling pretty down lately, just really depressed and stressed out thinking about our upcoming IVF. I really, really don't want to cycle in Houston. The thought of being here all summer is getting me down. I would much rather go through IVF in the comfort of my own home, away from all the questions and concerns of our families. My parents and my ILs are annoyingly involved, something I hadn't wanted. If the cycle fails, the pain is going to be that much worse because they will all know. I've been brainstorming ways to keep the ET a secret so they won't know when I'm in the 2ww. But, it'll be hard since I'll be staying at my parents house, which is next door to my ILs. FML.

The problem is, I love our doctors here and I know the best chance of this working for us is with them. I know this is where we need to be for our IVF, I will do anything and go anywhere for the chance of a successful IVF. I'm just terrified that the stress of doing it here will cause our IVF to not work. Super terrified and being here right now, is just making me stress about it more and realize how hard it's going to be. Our whole cycle on display before our families and C not being able to be here more then a couple of's just all freaking me out. A lot.


  1. hi there - your parents live next door to your inlaws? omg, that is intereseting to say the least! can you make it clear to everyone that you are INCREDIBLY stressed, and that NO ONE is allowed to ask you ANY questions about the whole process, until you volunteer info?

    i know that would pass muster with my family, but they also know i'm a brat with a temper, so not sure how other families would take to this *demand*.

    regardless, i'm sending you *luck* and *sticky vibes*.!!

  2. I found your blog off of one that I read and follow. I am trying to build up my blog friends... Anyway here is my take on it... Family can be so intrusive and while they think they are helping and being supportive they do not understand the stress they cause. Just somehow find your happy place. You have to find a way to relax and breath. KEEP YOUR HEAD UP! Sending lots and lots of sticky dust your way...

  3. I agree with the first poster. Can you just tell them that the subject is off limits? That if they bug you about it, it will be too stressful for you?

    It is a hard thing, for sure. I hope that you will be able to find some ways to relax so that you will be able to enjoy yourself.

    It really does sound exciting, even though you are worried. I mean, you are starting IVF! How exciting is that!!!!

  4. I would feel the same way. Going through the process without the comforts of home would be difficult. I can also see why you'd want to see your Houston docs. Hopefully you can find some boundaries for family that work for you and ways to bring some of the comforts of home with you while away.