Depression

Yesterday was rough and I'm talking rough in epic proportions. Our new insurance is fighting coverage due to my pre-existing conditions aka PCOS and liver disease. We have proof of prior coverage and have spent the past two days arguing with people and faxing papers. But it's not looking good for us, damn that month he didn't work. I'm trying to be hopeful because it was mandated per his new company that he be unemployed from his old company for a month before they would hire him officially. Of course, I guess we should have bought COBRA, hindsight is a bitch.

Anyway, the point is that I found an RE I really like in Houston that is highly recommended by the nesties and their prices are very nice. Nice in a way that we could cycle NEXT MONTH! I was so excited and wanted to jump in right away. Until this insurance crap popped up and now it just doesn't look possible at all. My hope that was sky high, crashed and burned big time. This coupled with another kid-less birthday was just too overwhelming and I ended up crying and crying, for a few hours at least. C was completely frazzled and wasn't sure how to handle me. So, of course, he handled it all wrong..le sigh...but in the end, he did all the right things and we made up and I stopped crying. The man bought me a cherry sundae, rubbed my back for an hour and then he bought me fries and hot wings, cause once the diet is already blown, why not?

He pointed out the obvious, I freak the f**k out when it comes to IVF. Well, that and my birthday. Both can send me in a tailspin. Today was better, it was simply too beautiful outside to be depressed and I was tired of crying. Tomorrow is my birthday, we're going to our favorite place for a hike down into the canyon to see the waterfall and the streams that are frozen over. Then we're coming home and getting dressed all fancy and having dinner in the Big City. Friday we're having dinner and drinks with friends to continue celebrating. I'm excited.

I also will be continuing our fight with the insurance company and I know what my wish will be when I blow out my candles, the same wish I've had for the past almost three years.