Sorry for disappearing...again. It's been one thing after another around here and I am quite exhausted. May started with a frantic phone call from my Mom, telling me that my Dad was in the hospital and things weren't looking great. C and I went right away and kept my Dad company in the hospital for a week before C came back to AR for work. I stayed another week and then came back to the sanity of my own house. But, I'll be heading back soon to watch my little brother graduate high school and help my parents. It seems my Dad's colon cancer is back, there are a bunch of small tumors around his colon. He starts chemo Monday and they give us a 65% chance of success. That is a number I can work with but it's still heartbreaking. My Dad isn't handling it very well, I've mentioned before how he is brain damaged from his massive bilateral stroke in 2009, and is having trouble dealing with all the information flying at him. I loathe seeing him this vulnerable and sad, it makes me cry and cry.
My Dad is lucky to be at one of the top cancer hospitals in the country, _MD_Anderson, and I thank God every night for that. Being there with him was a lesson in humility, it made me very thankful for all the blessings in my life. It also made me realize that I am getting older and so are my parents, it used to be me watching my parents take care of my grandparents and now it's me taking care of mine. It's a harsh reality that time waits for no one and that life is so very precious.
Truthfully, I am having a hard time dealing with this myself. I am so very, very scared . Scared of seeing my Dad weak from the chemo, scared of how to help my parents get through this, scared that it's going to be overwhelmingly hard and scared that I'm going to lose my Dad.
I know somehow we will all get through this, we are a strong bunch. Most of all, I have hope and a strong desire to never give up, I get that from my parents.