June 9, 2011

Keep Calm and Carry On

My new motto these day! Sometimes it works and sometimes it fails, epically. My Dad is still trucking along, chemo is kicking his butt and the weight loss is becoming an issue. He is now down 25 lbs in a month and looks like a skeleton, it's so hard to see. He doesn't leave the house much and when he does, he is confined to a wheelchair because he is just too weak. It sucks and this shit better work.

I just returned from Houston and I'm already going back soon, I want to spend Father's Day with him. This isn't how I pictured spending my Summer but I'm trying to make the best of it. Squeezing in as much fun as I can, when I can. I'm obsessed with snowcones lately, nothing beats that sugary sweet on a hot, hot afternoon. And oh man is it HOT, thanks to a nice heat wave Arkansas is having. Whew, remind me how much I longed for this in a couple of weeks when I'm begging for Fall to start already!

The future is still so uncertain right now and IF is very far from my mind. Feels good to not stress over IVF but I'd trade that for the cancer stress in a second. Back on anti-depressants since I can't seem to stop crying or sleep normally. I go back and forth from long periods of time not being able to sleep to sleeping all the time, it'd be nice to sleep like a normal person again. Through it all, C is my saving grace, I'd be lost without that sweet, sweet man. Even though my mood swings must annoy him, he takes it all in stride and just holds me while I cry and blabber about my fear of losing my Daddy.

Hope your Summer has started off nicely, I'm loving reading all the bog updates from the pregnant IF'ers. Makes me smile.

1 comment:

  1. I am so sorry that you are enduring so much. I cannot imagine watching a parent fight cancer. I hope that your antidepressants do their job so that you can feel somewhat normal.