January 6, 2013

New Beginnings

I was dreading NYE but it ended up being the best one I've ever had! We had a small party at my house with just my siblings and my favorite uncle and aunt, we listened to great music and drank our livers mad. We gave out bottles of brandy as wedding favors, my uncle still had his and brought it over. Him and me toasted to my divorce and preceded to get very drunk off it. It was a full circle moment for me. I even busted open C's prized bottle of Jack and drank straight from it...that felt amazing!

I've been dealing with the divorce with much more strength lately. I've accepted it and have taken the final steps toward finalization, which is so empowering! We finalize in February and I am really anxious to get it over with so I can truly move on. It's been a lot of work to separate our lives and I'm still doing so. Canceling various joint accounts, going through all our papers and returning his stuff to him....it's kinda therapeutic. There were still a few sweaters and jackets of his in my closet and a whole drawer full of this socks and stuff, so I boxed it all up and took it to my ILs. Now there is nothing in my room that is his, that is awesome! I took down pictures, went through our movies and cds and boxed up all wedding memorabilia. I want to get my wedding dress cleaned and either sale it or donate it. That makes me sad, I LOVED that damn dress.

I feel so at peace and very hopeful for my future. It's definitely an extremely different future than I imagined and that use to overwhelm me but I just take it day by day. I trust God and I know that there is something great ahead of me, I am excited to see what it is. I am excited at all the possibilities and how unlimited my future is, anything can happen! I'm living my life for me now and it's very liberating!

Want to know what spurred all this? I found out on NYE that Carlos had been cheating, complete with pictures of the 23 year old whore and him in various poses, hugging and kissing. I cried and cried and spent a couple of days absolutely miserable. Until yesterday, when I picked myself up and decided he isn't worth any more of my time. I refuse to be so upset about my marriage ending, it clearly is the best thing for me.

Onward and upward, my future awaits!


  1. So glad you had a great time. It must be such an exciting time to know that their are so many wonderful possibilities at your finger tips. I get that this has been a difficult process but it sounds like all of the yucky stuff is basically behind you and there is so much good to come.
    P.S what a stinker for the cheating ordeal, so immature. How did you find the pictures?

  2. Way obstay positive!!!! Look at the book may cause miracles! I am six days in and feel amazing. Talks about getting rid of fear.

  3. Someone actually sent me the pictures, anonymously. Postmarked from where he lives but no note. I was so devastated at first but realized it's a sign that we are so over!

  4. wow such realizations. wishing you so much in this new year....