February 12, 2014

So this is love

I knew from the first moment I set eyes on the Cowboy that he was going to be trouble. Or, rather, that I was in trouble. Totally my type with a beard, tattoos, piercings, and we have so much in common it's scary. The more time we spent together, the more obvious it became that he was different and that our relationship was something special. I have so much fun with him, even when we're just cuddling and watching tv. I love that he accepts me for exactly who I am and doesn't bat an eye at the qualities about me that drove C crazy. It's refreshing. So it should be no surprise that I fell in love with the Cowboy.

But it still surprises me that I feel this way. He said the words first, very accidentally one night when I was coughing like crazy. I said them about a week later, very much on purpose. At first, I kept thinking this was my rebound because it just had to be, right? I mean, he had to be my rebound because I wasn't looking for a relationship, I was having so much fun being a slut. But, here we are 8 months later and I no longer think he's a rebound. He's a surprise I wasn't planning on but he's the best surprise I never knew I wanted. I'm happy and it's a happy that I haven't felt in so very long.

That being said, I'm still unsure about ever getting married again and absolutely not in any rush. He's divorced too so he understands my feelings and isn't in any rush either. We just enjoy each other, say I love you often and don't worry too much about the future. Our relationship is in no way perfect but we talk through our issues and are on the same page about most things, so we seldom seriously disagree. It's nice and easy and not complicated. He's a breath of fresh air.

I've never been big into Valentine's Day but I'm excited this year. I've never been a sappy girl but oh man does this guy bring out my inner girly girl. He's a hopeless romantic and I'm very much enjoying that. I wish I could go back to the broken Amanda I was a year ago and tell her to keep her head up because the future will be so worth all the anguish and pain. I'd tell her to cling to her hope because hope never fails.

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