May 14, 2014

XH Drama

I have maintained, through out this whole divorce, that XH and I were going to remain friends. I was determined for us to stay friendly because we are such a huge part of each others history that it didn't make sense to me for us to end on bad terms. I am much better at this than XH is, I am able to not blur the lines and to not discuss what happened between us. XH simply sucks at keeping things on that level. And this past week, he lost his damn mind.

He showed up last Tuesday, despite my protests and despite me literally being on my way out the door to deposit my share of the mortgage into his account, he insisted on coming over to pick it up personally. He proceeded to stay an hour, chatting about his work, friends and just random stuff. He left and I went about my day. Shit hit the fan the next night. Apparently he changed his relationship status on FB to reflect he's with the girl he left me for. I've known they are together, it's not a big deal because I'm over it and I have moved on. However, my best friend did not react well. She pretty much blasted him on FB and her, even calling her a whore.

I had been arguing with XH that day over mortgage related issues, so I was already in a foul mood. I texted him two angry texts but they honestly weren't that bad, no name calling or anything like that. Unbeknown to me, XH and my BFF got into not long after. I was in bed, watching tv with the Cowboy and drinking wine, when I got a text from BFF.

It seems XH posted my texts and then posted that I was engaged and pregnant. I woke up to all kinds of messages and texts. I then proceeded to lose my damn mind. I called him up and raged. He deleted them immediately but the damage was done and I spent the day putting out fires. Then his GF jumped in on everything and just made it all so much better. (can you hear my sarcasm?)

Long story short, XH and his GF are blocked in every way- across all social media accounts and XH's number is blocked on my phone. He is banned from interaction with me and must communicate with my sister regarding anything related to the house. I am in the process of getting an order of protection too, thanks to some scary verbal threats that were made by them. I was legit freaked out and felt so violated by everything that happened. It really shook me.

The last two years of our marriage, XH was very emotionally abusive and manipulative. It took lots of therapy to see it and admit it and tell people about it. His actions last week proved to me that he's still very capable of harm and is still actively trying to control me and hurt me. I am much more at peace with him being blocked from my life, it's such a relief to be honest. And he had no explanation for why he posted I was engaged and pregnant, he apologized but put the blame back on me, of course.

I'm done and just want off this roller coaster, so glad to be finally putting my foot down and ending all contact. I'm not even sad we can't be friends because clearly, it's not what is best for me.

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