Later today I'll slip into a cute dress I recently bought and make the drive into Houston. I'll walk into that crowded stadium and make my way to a section filled with my family. And when they call my teenage nephew's name, I'm sure I'll be screaming my head off, while fighting back buckets of tears. He turned 18 last week, which was difficult on it's own, for him to be graduating this week is just totally overwhelming.
I was 15 when my brother placed a tiny bundle into my arms. As I stared at his sweet face, I fell deeply, hopelessly in love. A love that amazes me still, all these years later. Being an aunt is my favorite thing and his birth gave me that title. He'll always be special. How I wish I could pause time and just soak it all up. Or maybe even go back in time, to the kid he was. Hug him more, take him to the toy store and let him pick anything out. Stuff him with candy and ice cream and pizza. Chase him around a park again. Apologize for anytime I scolded him, or said no to him, or didn't follow through with something I promised. I want a do over with my nephew!
I'm proud of him, insanely so. Nothing will change that and I'm excited to see where life takes him. I'm excited to watch him soar and make his place in the world. It's just bittersweet. And I'm sappy.
But, seeing how it's Friday, I thought he'd be the only thing on my gratitude list this week.
A, I am so grateful to be even a small part of the village that raised you. You are fantastic and I adore you. I'll always be here to cheer you on, without fail.
Showing posts with label grateful friday. Show all posts
Showing posts with label grateful friday. Show all posts
June 3, 2016
April 8, 2016
Long time, no talk!
It's Friday! What is a better day to dust off the ol' blog and put my thoughts down after a long silence?! It's been busy lately and things aren't going to settle down until after May so I'm gearing up for even more busy-ness! Etsy has been slow lately, but we're in the midst of rebranding and website launching and more jewelry making so I'm not too bothered by the slowness. The photography has it's spurts of busy and slow, but again, I'm not minding too much. The house is finally under contract again and I'm ridiculously excited about that. All the packing isn't exciting but I just crank some music and get to it. My car decided to act up so it's been a lot to get it running smoothly again, ugh.
Things are great with M, we love Summer so we're excited to make fun plans and to celebrate three years together in June. We aren't thinking too much about wedding plans, other than to throw out ideas every now and then. We're extremely casual about it and I think it's one of those things that we'll decide last minute and throw it all together. At least that's what I hope!
Anyway, this is what I'm most grateful for these days:
* Friday night high school baseball games
* playing with my nephews & nieces
* cuddling my tiny nephew, he's almost 4 months old!
* movie nights with lots of junk food with M
* library trips
* cool nights and warm days, not too burning hot here yet, thankfully
* fun photo shoots
* making peace with the past
* planting flowers
I vowed to make this year a year of growth and expansion. It's really comforting to my soul to see the wheels I set into motion actually turning and making progress. I'm anxious to see just how far we'll progress this year!
Things are great with M, we love Summer so we're excited to make fun plans and to celebrate three years together in June. We aren't thinking too much about wedding plans, other than to throw out ideas every now and then. We're extremely casual about it and I think it's one of those things that we'll decide last minute and throw it all together. At least that's what I hope!
Anyway, this is what I'm most grateful for these days:
* Friday night high school baseball games
* playing with my nephews & nieces
* cuddling my tiny nephew, he's almost 4 months old!
* movie nights with lots of junk food with M
* library trips
* cool nights and warm days, not too burning hot here yet, thankfully
* fun photo shoots
* making peace with the past
* planting flowers
I vowed to make this year a year of growth and expansion. It's really comforting to my soul to see the wheels I set into motion actually turning and making progress. I'm anxious to see just how far we'll progress this year!
February 19, 2016
Friday!
It's been an interesting week and I definitely am in need of some gratitude. Just a reminder that despite all the chaos, there is plenty of goodness too!
This week I am grateful for:
* a fantastic Valentine's weekend with M- a swanky hotel, Deadpool, and delicious food
* texts from my nephews and nieces
* group texts with two long time friends that never fail to make me laugh and laugh
* scoring the rest of the flooring on great clearance
* planting flowers and making the backyard pretty
* hot weather, we didn't really have a winter
* humidifiers that help with my aching sinuses
* growing the Etsy shop
The contract on the house was canceled after the former buyers violated the terms so we've been back on the market now for a couple weeks. I'm very frustrated by the constant showings and no offers. The inside is staged to perfection and now we're working on the yard to give it some more pizzazz. So ready to be done with this house! XH has been nice and helpful so that's a miracle. Although until he proves he can be mature, our contact is limited to texts.
Hope you all have a fantastic weekend!
This week I am grateful for:
* a fantastic Valentine's weekend with M- a swanky hotel, Deadpool, and delicious food
* texts from my nephews and nieces
* group texts with two long time friends that never fail to make me laugh and laugh
* scoring the rest of the flooring on great clearance
* planting flowers and making the backyard pretty
* hot weather, we didn't really have a winter
* humidifiers that help with my aching sinuses
* growing the Etsy shop
The contract on the house was canceled after the former buyers violated the terms so we've been back on the market now for a couple weeks. I'm very frustrated by the constant showings and no offers. The inside is staged to perfection and now we're working on the yard to give it some more pizzazz. So ready to be done with this house! XH has been nice and helpful so that's a miracle. Although until he proves he can be mature, our contact is limited to texts.
Hope you all have a fantastic weekend!
January 15, 2016
Grateful Friday
It's been an emotional day week, I think I need to remind myself of all the goodness even more so today than usually.
This week I am grateful for:
* two hour conversations with my BFF in Arkansas, I miss her face so much
* quality time with my nieces, they make me laugh and laugh
* visiting my preemie nephew, he is truly a miracle
* A wonderful FI who cooks, massages my back, and handles my moodiness like a pro
* gossiping with my sister and SIL
* repeat photography clients
* supportive friends who soften blows
* accepting an offer on the house!!
Today I signed and we are officially under contract. It is the strangest, most bittersweet feeling. I think I'm pissed. I'm mad that this gorgeous house isn't mine anymore, that I never saw it reach it's full potential. I'm mad about everything it was suppose to mean, what it ended up meaning, and now what it will mean. XH and I had such plans for this house, and while we probably rushed into having this house built, it was such a beacon of hope after losing my Dad. Instead, XH spent a total of 5 nights in this house before leaving me, and I rebuilt myself within these walls. So many emotions stirring inside me.
I'm hopeful that bigger and better is on the horizon. And freedom. Sweet, wonderful freedom from dealing with XH and that feels pretty exciting.
This week I am grateful for:
* two hour conversations with my BFF in Arkansas, I miss her face so much
* quality time with my nieces, they make me laugh and laugh
* visiting my preemie nephew, he is truly a miracle
* A wonderful FI who cooks, massages my back, and handles my moodiness like a pro
* gossiping with my sister and SIL
* repeat photography clients
* supportive friends who soften blows
* accepting an offer on the house!!
Today I signed and we are officially under contract. It is the strangest, most bittersweet feeling. I think I'm pissed. I'm mad that this gorgeous house isn't mine anymore, that I never saw it reach it's full potential. I'm mad about everything it was suppose to mean, what it ended up meaning, and now what it will mean. XH and I had such plans for this house, and while we probably rushed into having this house built, it was such a beacon of hope after losing my Dad. Instead, XH spent a total of 5 nights in this house before leaving me, and I rebuilt myself within these walls. So many emotions stirring inside me.
I'm hopeful that bigger and better is on the horizon. And freedom. Sweet, wonderful freedom from dealing with XH and that feels pretty exciting.
August 15, 2015
Gratitude
Even though I am a day late, I definitely want to take the time and remind myself of all that I am thankful for. My life is far from perfect but I am so lucky to have this life and I don't want to take for granted anything.
This week I am thankful for:
* M's new job, he is SO much happier now
* long lunches with awesome friends
* Summer days spent with my nephews and nieces
* movie nights spent cuddled in bed with a great guy
* evening swims, it's too hot during the day to even swim!
* sales picking up with my Etsy shop, it was a slow Summer
The best part of this Summer was my sister and BIL announcing they are expecting! My youngest niece is six and we are long overdue for a baby in the family again. Needless to say, we are all excited! My feelings about it have been way better than I expected, I honestly wasn't sure how I would handle it. But, I'm truly happy and rarely get a twinge of sadness/longing. She's due in February and I am very much looking forward to baby cuddles!
This week I am thankful for:
* M's new job, he is SO much happier now
* long lunches with awesome friends
* Summer days spent with my nephews and nieces
* movie nights spent cuddled in bed with a great guy
* evening swims, it's too hot during the day to even swim!
* sales picking up with my Etsy shop, it was a slow Summer
The best part of this Summer was my sister and BIL announcing they are expecting! My youngest niece is six and we are long overdue for a baby in the family again. Needless to say, we are all excited! My feelings about it have been way better than I expected, I honestly wasn't sure how I would handle it. But, I'm truly happy and rarely get a twinge of sadness/longing. She's due in February and I am very much looking forward to baby cuddles!
June 26, 2015
Grateful Friday
It's been quite a long week. It's just been really busy and jam packed, I'm so happy it's Friday! I could use some peace and quiet.
This week I'm grateful for:
* dinner with old friends from AR, whom I haven't seen in 3-4 years
* successful photo shoots
* time spent with my nephews and nieces
* Sonic shakes, such a Summer staple for me
* tan lines
* my new iphone 6, it's pretty awesome
* quality time with M, we've both been busy but making time for us is just so worth it
* SCOTUS ruling with equality today, I got all teary eyed when I heard the news!
It's no secret that I'm a bleeding heart, liberal hippie. Today's ruling has just made my day! I'm so damn glad to have lived to see this day in the US. Love is love, it's pretty simple IMO. I hope you are all having a great day and have a fantastic weekend!
This week I'm grateful for:
* dinner with old friends from AR, whom I haven't seen in 3-4 years
* successful photo shoots
* time spent with my nephews and nieces
* Sonic shakes, such a Summer staple for me
* tan lines
* my new iphone 6, it's pretty awesome
* quality time with M, we've both been busy but making time for us is just so worth it
* SCOTUS ruling with equality today, I got all teary eyed when I heard the news!
It's no secret that I'm a bleeding heart, liberal hippie. Today's ruling has just made my day! I'm so damn glad to have lived to see this day in the US. Love is love, it's pretty simple IMO. I hope you are all having a great day and have a fantastic weekend!
April 10, 2015
Siblings
I have three siblings; they are the banes of my existence, the thorns in my ass, the gum on the bottom of my shoe.....but they are also worthy adversaries and the great gifts my parents ever gave me. I have an older brother, a younger sister, and a little brother. Two of them are married so I also have an incredible SIL and a hilarious BIL. The best thing my siblings have ever done is give me nephews and nieces so I think I'll keep them around.
The Cowboy is the oldest of six so I've gained three brothers and two sisters. They are funny, caring, wild, and so entertaining. We have spent many a night drinking with his brothers and having a great time- we've been kicked out of bars, inferred with bar fights, and ruled the beer pong table. I adore his brothers. His sisters are young, 22 and 10, but they are a blast to hang out with too. I've played dolls with his baby sister countless times, painted nails, and gossiped with his other sister. His 22 y/o sister recently moved to my hometown, where we also are, so we get to see her and her son often, it's awesome
I lived away from my family for six years and missed them so damn much. It was really hard to not be around them and moving back was the best decision I ever made. We definitely don't always get along but we always make up and move on from our disagreements, no matter how big or small. They've seen me through my darkest time and always celebrate my accomplishments with me.
Hands down, the darkest time in our family was when my Dad was dying. I wasn't sure how we, as a family, would handle it but everyone rallied and came together to limp through that ordeal. It's odd that some of my most cherished memories are from those five weeks my Dad spent on hospice. We just tucked into my brother's house and rarely left that cocoon until it was all over. I'm grateful that my Dad passed surrounded by us and grateful that we all had each other to lean on afterward.
We still struggle with the grief and sometimes it's hard to all be together because my Dad's absence becomes so glaringly obvious. But we talk about him often and enjoy reminiscing, we are the keepers of each others childhood after all.
Family really is everything to me. I'd be so lost without them and I'm just really, really grateful to be back around them. This Friday, they are entirely what I am most grateful for, they are my whole list this week!
The Cowboy is the oldest of six so I've gained three brothers and two sisters. They are funny, caring, wild, and so entertaining. We have spent many a night drinking with his brothers and having a great time- we've been kicked out of bars, inferred with bar fights, and ruled the beer pong table. I adore his brothers. His sisters are young, 22 and 10, but they are a blast to hang out with too. I've played dolls with his baby sister countless times, painted nails, and gossiped with his other sister. His 22 y/o sister recently moved to my hometown, where we also are, so we get to see her and her son often, it's awesome
I lived away from my family for six years and missed them so damn much. It was really hard to not be around them and moving back was the best decision I ever made. We definitely don't always get along but we always make up and move on from our disagreements, no matter how big or small. They've seen me through my darkest time and always celebrate my accomplishments with me.
Hands down, the darkest time in our family was when my Dad was dying. I wasn't sure how we, as a family, would handle it but everyone rallied and came together to limp through that ordeal. It's odd that some of my most cherished memories are from those five weeks my Dad spent on hospice. We just tucked into my brother's house and rarely left that cocoon until it was all over. I'm grateful that my Dad passed surrounded by us and grateful that we all had each other to lean on afterward.
We still struggle with the grief and sometimes it's hard to all be together because my Dad's absence becomes so glaringly obvious. But we talk about him often and enjoy reminiscing, we are the keepers of each others childhood after all.
Family really is everything to me. I'd be so lost without them and I'm just really, really grateful to be back around them. This Friday, they are entirely what I am most grateful for, they are my whole list this week!
October 17, 2014
Gratitude!
It's been a busy week, I'm happy to have made it to Friday! Although, it's a busy weekend too so I'm not so sure why I'm so relieved. I've been working my butt off getting the etsy shop up and running while also preparing for a Fall mini-session this weekend. It's quite nice to be busy but it's also draining! This weekend is packed with Halloween festivities along with the shoot so I'm sure I'll be exhausted by Sunday night. But, that's a good problem to have, IMO.
Anyway, I have pumpkin scents burning in my warmer, the Cowboy is next to me playing around on his phone, and the dogs are snoring. It's nice and cozy and I love it! This week I'm grateful for:
* good friends who buy jewelry from your shop!
* spending time with my Grandma, she's hilarious
* cold fronts that allow me to sleep with open windows
* my sister, who is pretty much my therapist and my biggest support
* having the space in my house for my photography and an etsy shop
* a sweet boyfriend who vacuums and deep cleans the carpet
* Halloween themed sleepovers with my nephews and nieces
Sometimes I have to pinch myself because it's hard to believe this is my life now. I really couldn't imagine a better outcome after losing my Dad and going through the divorce. I'm very lucky to be surrounded by the people I have in my life. I've been so down lately but it's starting to turn around, hope is returning, just like it always does!
Anyway, I have pumpkin scents burning in my warmer, the Cowboy is next to me playing around on his phone, and the dogs are snoring. It's nice and cozy and I love it! This week I'm grateful for:
* good friends who buy jewelry from your shop!
* spending time with my Grandma, she's hilarious
* cold fronts that allow me to sleep with open windows
* my sister, who is pretty much my therapist and my biggest support
* having the space in my house for my photography and an etsy shop
* a sweet boyfriend who vacuums and deep cleans the carpet
* Halloween themed sleepovers with my nephews and nieces
Sometimes I have to pinch myself because it's hard to believe this is my life now. I really couldn't imagine a better outcome after losing my Dad and going through the divorce. I'm very lucky to be surrounded by the people I have in my life. I've been so down lately but it's starting to turn around, hope is returning, just like it always does!
July 11, 2014
It's Friday!
Having a live-in boyfriend is loads of fun and a lot of adjustment. It's nice having him here for all the cuddle time I want but it's hard getting use to the fact that he doesn't go home. I was very use to my alone time and quite comfortable with it! But, I'm adjusting and he is too so it's going well.
Anyway, it's Friday! So, this week I'm grateful for:
* finally getting my braces off 20 months after I got them on, it feels great!
* buying photography equipment
* getting my hair done
* long phone calls with my BFF in Arkansas, I miss her so very much!
* getting M hooked on True Blood, we are watching Season 4 right now
* stormy nights spent in bed with a cute guy
* cucumber margaritas with a good friend
* small niece turned 5 and her birthday shoot was so much fun!
Life is calm and good right now. I'm having fun soaking up everything fun about Summer but I'm looking forward to the Fall, of course! Couple of trips coming up and I'm looking forward to those too. Have a great weekend, lovies!
Anyway, it's Friday! So, this week I'm grateful for:
* finally getting my braces off 20 months after I got them on, it feels great!
* buying photography equipment
* getting my hair done
* long phone calls with my BFF in Arkansas, I miss her so very much!
* getting M hooked on True Blood, we are watching Season 4 right now
* stormy nights spent in bed with a cute guy
* cucumber margaritas with a good friend
* small niece turned 5 and her birthday shoot was so much fun!
Life is calm and good right now. I'm having fun soaking up everything fun about Summer but I'm looking forward to the Fall, of course! Couple of trips coming up and I'm looking forward to those too. Have a great weekend, lovies!
May 30, 2014
Grateful
I haven't directly spoken to XH in awhile, although he keeps trying to initiate contact. He texts my sister on an almost daily basis about the stupidest shit. I'm much happier having no contact and really hope he settles down soon and leaves us alone. If he's so happy with his girlfriend, I don't see why he's all up my ass. But I don't think it has anything to do with him being in love with me anymore, I think it's more that he's pissed about not being able to control me anymore. That and I seriously don't think he's mentally stable.
But, it's Friday so it's time for some gratitude! This week I'm grateful for:
* celebrating my nephew's 16th birthday, I got all teary eyed though bc it seems like he was JUST a baby
* stormy nights, there's something so soothing about falling asleep to thunder and rain
* having 3 potential job opportunities, fingers crossed!!
* snarky texts with one of my BFFs
* cuddly dogs
* cuddly boyfriends too!
* getting lost in a good book
* night fishing with family
Aside from all the drama with XH, things are pretty good. Summer is here, my tan is returning and despite the nasty humidity, it's nice wearing shorts and flip flops everywhere. Bring on the sultry nights, days spent at the beach, and sipping a good beer while watching the sunset and the fireflies come out!
But, it's Friday so it's time for some gratitude! This week I'm grateful for:
* celebrating my nephew's 16th birthday, I got all teary eyed though bc it seems like he was JUST a baby
* stormy nights, there's something so soothing about falling asleep to thunder and rain
* having 3 potential job opportunities, fingers crossed!!
* snarky texts with one of my BFFs
* cuddly dogs
* cuddly boyfriends too!
* getting lost in a good book
* night fishing with family
Aside from all the drama with XH, things are pretty good. Summer is here, my tan is returning and despite the nasty humidity, it's nice wearing shorts and flip flops everywhere. Bring on the sultry nights, days spent at the beach, and sipping a good beer while watching the sunset and the fireflies come out!
April 18, 2014
Grateful Friday!
I had one of those weeks where it was incredibly busy and lots happened but yet nothing of any real significance. I'm just drained and so glad it's finally the weekend! This week I'm grateful for:
* finally getting my library card, felt so good to browse the stacks
* visits from 4 different cousins this week, always fun catching up!
* waking up to a thunderstorm, I just love storms
* playing around with my nephews and nieces, they're my heart
* my 3 dogs behaving in Pets.mart and not being assholes to other dogs
* finding my extra Scentsy warmer and putting it in my room, it smells yummy now!
* fun plans this weekend for Easter that involve beer, food and lots of family
I had an odd moment earlier today. Some friends from AR texted a video announcing their second pregnancy to our group of friends, but not to me. One of my BFFs mentioned it, not knowing I wasn't included. It stung twice- once for them announcing it as they held their barely 1 year old and once for realizing they no longer count me as a friend since the divorce, guess XH got them in our split. It seems no matter how far I get from the split, the reminders still pop up and that just sucks.
* finally getting my library card, felt so good to browse the stacks
* visits from 4 different cousins this week, always fun catching up!
* waking up to a thunderstorm, I just love storms
* playing around with my nephews and nieces, they're my heart
* my 3 dogs behaving in Pets.mart and not being assholes to other dogs
* finding my extra Scentsy warmer and putting it in my room, it smells yummy now!
* fun plans this weekend for Easter that involve beer, food and lots of family
I had an odd moment earlier today. Some friends from AR texted a video announcing their second pregnancy to our group of friends, but not to me. One of my BFFs mentioned it, not knowing I wasn't included. It stung twice- once for them announcing it as they held their barely 1 year old and once for realizing they no longer count me as a friend since the divorce, guess XH got them in our split. It seems no matter how far I get from the split, the reminders still pop up and that just sucks.
February 21, 2014
Gratitude
It's been quite the week and it's much overdue for some gratitude!
This week I'm grateful for:
* awesome friends who regularly make me laugh and remind me that life is great
* teenage nephew's HS baseball games, love watching him play!
* good books, getting lost in a great read is so therapeutic to me
* all the supportive people in my life, it's a blessing for sure
* Spring-like days with warmth and a good breeze
* impromptu calls from friends to gather at our favorite bar, late at night, right before closing
* realizing how happy I am now and how it has everything to do with me liking who I am now and being comfortable in my own skin
I took a bold step this week and it left me feeling so empowered! I've been job hunting now for 7 months, it's been beyond frustrating. So I had been flirting around with the idea of starting my own photography business. I've been doing shoots off and on since C split and everyone kept encouraging me to actually make that leap but I was scared. Well, I took the leap and made a FB page for it. I'm shooting a small wedding tonight and actually booked 2 maternity/newborn sessions yesterday and today! I'm looking forward to ordering more equipment soon. I'm taking steps to make my dreams come true and it feels amazing!
This week I'm grateful for:
* awesome friends who regularly make me laugh and remind me that life is great
* teenage nephew's HS baseball games, love watching him play!
* good books, getting lost in a great read is so therapeutic to me
* all the supportive people in my life, it's a blessing for sure
* Spring-like days with warmth and a good breeze
* impromptu calls from friends to gather at our favorite bar, late at night, right before closing
* realizing how happy I am now and how it has everything to do with me liking who I am now and being comfortable in my own skin
I took a bold step this week and it left me feeling so empowered! I've been job hunting now for 7 months, it's been beyond frustrating. So I had been flirting around with the idea of starting my own photography business. I've been doing shoots off and on since C split and everyone kept encouraging me to actually make that leap but I was scared. Well, I took the leap and made a FB page for it. I'm shooting a small wedding tonight and actually booked 2 maternity/newborn sessions yesterday and today! I'm looking forward to ordering more equipment soon. I'm taking steps to make my dreams come true and it feels amazing!
November 14, 2013
Weirdness
Things have been weird lately. Not super weird, but a little weird. Weird enough to give me a feeling of uneasiness. I don't like it because it makes me think there's something coming my way and I really don't like to be caught unprepared. I need a sense of control over my life and that's not surprising considering my Dad's death and my divorce both spun my world out of control. Issues? Why, yes, I do have issues now. Thanks for noticing!
Saturday will officially mark a year since I filed for divorce, a divorce that still is NOT FINAL. Coming to an agreement over our finances has proven to be quite problematic. Now his lawyer is threatening going to court, which my lawyer laughs at because we would slaughter him in court with the pictures I have of him making out with a stupid skank. Not to mention the phone records and friends who have all said the relationship started during our marriage. We filed for divorce in a very conservative district, you know, good ol' boys and all that jazz. And they don't take kindly to men who cheat on their grieving wives so soon after a death in the family.
Despite the issues with our agreement, we actually don't fight when we do talk. He calls me just about every three days, just to check in on the progress with the divorce or to ask me a stupid question. He then chats my ear off about work, his friends or a hobby he's recently taken up. It's just so odd to talk to him like we're friends, like we've never seen each other naked or loved each other or married each other, for that matter. I keep my guard up with him and never discuss anything of true depth. Just house stuff or car stuff or something funny my nephews and nieces said/did.
The Cowboy gets increasingly annoyed by these phone calls. One lasted about an hour and I could tell it bothered him. I'm not sure why I stay on the phone or why C feels the need to call me. Or I do have a suspicion but I'd rather not think about it. I don't want C to admit to some great revelation about regretting this or still loving me. I don't want to hurt him but I also don't want him anymore. Quite a turnaround from me posting last year asking for y'all to pray for my marriage's resurrection. Hindsight, yep, hindsight.
I'm still doing good. Job hunting still, which is a bitch. Still having a good time with the Cowboy. Currently having a lot of fun with NaNoWriMo and battling a slight fever. Seriously, wrote part of this with a thermometer in my mouth. Did I tell y'all I got braces last year? I went straight from my orthodontist to the lawyer's office to file for divorce so it'll be a year with them this weekend too. My teeth look amazing! And I look like a little kid and get carded all.the.time. now. It's great fun until they gasp in shock once they realize I'm 30 years old.
But, it's almost midnight here, which means it's almost Friday, which means let me end by listing a few things I'm grateful for. This week I'm grateful for:
* cold fronts! Yay for sweaters, boots and leggings!
* coffee, bc without it, I wouldn't be writing as much or able to soothe my achy throat
* Tar.get bc a trip for one item, turned into me leaving with much more
* finding the mixed tapes I made in junior high and listening to some awesome music like Immature, Dru Hill, Aaliyah and Xscape...the 90's were awesome!
* cousins who make me laugh and want to hang out, they hold some very precious memories of late family members, like my Dad and my Grandpa
Have a great weekend, soak it up and enjoy every second!
Saturday will officially mark a year since I filed for divorce, a divorce that still is NOT FINAL. Coming to an agreement over our finances has proven to be quite problematic. Now his lawyer is threatening going to court, which my lawyer laughs at because we would slaughter him in court with the pictures I have of him making out with a stupid skank. Not to mention the phone records and friends who have all said the relationship started during our marriage. We filed for divorce in a very conservative district, you know, good ol' boys and all that jazz. And they don't take kindly to men who cheat on their grieving wives so soon after a death in the family.
Despite the issues with our agreement, we actually don't fight when we do talk. He calls me just about every three days, just to check in on the progress with the divorce or to ask me a stupid question. He then chats my ear off about work, his friends or a hobby he's recently taken up. It's just so odd to talk to him like we're friends, like we've never seen each other naked or loved each other or married each other, for that matter. I keep my guard up with him and never discuss anything of true depth. Just house stuff or car stuff or something funny my nephews and nieces said/did.
The Cowboy gets increasingly annoyed by these phone calls. One lasted about an hour and I could tell it bothered him. I'm not sure why I stay on the phone or why C feels the need to call me. Or I do have a suspicion but I'd rather not think about it. I don't want C to admit to some great revelation about regretting this or still loving me. I don't want to hurt him but I also don't want him anymore. Quite a turnaround from me posting last year asking for y'all to pray for my marriage's resurrection. Hindsight, yep, hindsight.
I'm still doing good. Job hunting still, which is a bitch. Still having a good time with the Cowboy. Currently having a lot of fun with NaNoWriMo and battling a slight fever. Seriously, wrote part of this with a thermometer in my mouth. Did I tell y'all I got braces last year? I went straight from my orthodontist to the lawyer's office to file for divorce so it'll be a year with them this weekend too. My teeth look amazing! And I look like a little kid and get carded all.the.time. now. It's great fun until they gasp in shock once they realize I'm 30 years old.
But, it's almost midnight here, which means it's almost Friday, which means let me end by listing a few things I'm grateful for. This week I'm grateful for:
* cold fronts! Yay for sweaters, boots and leggings!
* coffee, bc without it, I wouldn't be writing as much or able to soothe my achy throat
* Tar.get bc a trip for one item, turned into me leaving with much more
* finding the mixed tapes I made in junior high and listening to some awesome music like Immature, Dru Hill, Aaliyah and Xscape...the 90's were awesome!
* cousins who make me laugh and want to hang out, they hold some very precious memories of late family members, like my Dad and my Grandpa
Have a great weekend, soak it up and enjoy every second!
October 3, 2013
Grateful Friday
It's been a while since I last did one of these and it always feels good to remind myself of all the good that is in my life. So, this week I'm grateful for:
* my awesome friends, who always make me laugh
* my equally awesome family, they are everything to me
* finally going through boxes in the attic and throwing stuff away
* my silly dogs
* that G.lee, GA, VampireDiaries, the BBT and HIMYM are back on my tv!
* Pumpkin flavored everything, I just love it!
* decorating for Halloween and LOVING how it all came together
* the amazingly sweet Cowboy, who helped me decorate and go through boxes
* seriously, can I put the Cowboy again? He just made me really happy this week
I'm deep in Halloween mode; decorating, DIY projects, baking and planning my annual party! The Cowboy is my partner in crime and loves Halloween as much as I do so our demented minds combined has equaled some really freaky decorating ideas. I did have to deal with C this week. He showed up again to drop some more mail off and just hung around a bit to chat. I'm glad we can get along and it's nice to talk normally with him but it's also really weird. I didn't know he was coming by so the Cowboy and I had just gotten done...doing stuff...when he showed up. Awkward is an understatement. Not that C knew that but I knew that and just me knowing made me feel all kinds of weirdness. Still haven't finalized and I've actually signed the papers, twice. C is the one holding it up, always has an excuse why he won't or can't sign. It's annoying.
Anyway, have a lovely weekend! Hope it's filled with all the things that are good!
* my awesome friends, who always make me laugh
* my equally awesome family, they are everything to me
* finally going through boxes in the attic and throwing stuff away
* my silly dogs
* that G.lee, GA, VampireDiaries, the BBT and HIMYM are back on my tv!
* Pumpkin flavored everything, I just love it!
* decorating for Halloween and LOVING how it all came together
* the amazingly sweet Cowboy, who helped me decorate and go through boxes
* seriously, can I put the Cowboy again? He just made me really happy this week
I'm deep in Halloween mode; decorating, DIY projects, baking and planning my annual party! The Cowboy is my partner in crime and loves Halloween as much as I do so our demented minds combined has equaled some really freaky decorating ideas. I did have to deal with C this week. He showed up again to drop some more mail off and just hung around a bit to chat. I'm glad we can get along and it's nice to talk normally with him but it's also really weird. I didn't know he was coming by so the Cowboy and I had just gotten done...doing stuff...when he showed up. Awkward is an understatement. Not that C knew that but I knew that and just me knowing made me feel all kinds of weirdness. Still haven't finalized and I've actually signed the papers, twice. C is the one holding it up, always has an excuse why he won't or can't sign. It's annoying.
Anyway, have a lovely weekend! Hope it's filled with all the things that are good!
September 7, 2012
let me count the ways...
It's 4am and my mind won't shut up so I figured why not blog? It is Friday after all and that means it's time to show some gratitude. This week I'm grateful for:
*the total chaos that accompanies having family so close and living with you!
*comfy new couches that beg you to curl up and watch a movie
*being able to goof around with my siblings, it makes my heart SO happy being close to them
*seeing how happy my extended family is to have us back
*scoring a Kate Spade bag I've been lusting after for a long time for 50% off thanks to the surprise sale!!
*my beloved Longhorns won and then the Cowboys beat the Giants, yay for football!
*living 30 minutes from Ik.ea
*Glee is almost back, heck all my shows are almost back!!
*finally being able to unpack and settle into the house, feels so good to have all my clothes again
*nightly talks with C, reminds me of high school and our marathon phone calls
I can't explain how good it feels to be back home. It hits me at different moments, like I'll be sitting in the kitchen and my favorite uncle will walk in or my ILs will stop by or I'll realize all the different options I have now for shopping and eating and suddenly it hits me, we moved back home. We actually did it and we're here and I am so happy. I didn't realize just how much I missed Texas until now, we should have done this a year ago. All I can think about is what this would be like with my Dad here. Being near my Mom and siblings is so comforting because they remind me of him, he feels closer to me when I'm with them. But it also hurts more because he's so obviously missing, I can't ignore that around them. It's bittersweet.
*the total chaos that accompanies having family so close and living with you!
*comfy new couches that beg you to curl up and watch a movie
*being able to goof around with my siblings, it makes my heart SO happy being close to them
*seeing how happy my extended family is to have us back
*scoring a Kate Spade bag I've been lusting after for a long time for 50% off thanks to the surprise sale!!
*my beloved Longhorns won and then the Cowboys beat the Giants, yay for football!
*living 30 minutes from Ik.ea
*Glee is almost back, heck all my shows are almost back!!
*finally being able to unpack and settle into the house, feels so good to have all my clothes again
*nightly talks with C, reminds me of high school and our marathon phone calls
I can't explain how good it feels to be back home. It hits me at different moments, like I'll be sitting in the kitchen and my favorite uncle will walk in or my ILs will stop by or I'll realize all the different options I have now for shopping and eating and suddenly it hits me, we moved back home. We actually did it and we're here and I am so happy. I didn't realize just how much I missed Texas until now, we should have done this a year ago. All I can think about is what this would be like with my Dad here. Being near my Mom and siblings is so comforting because they remind me of him, he feels closer to me when I'm with them. But it also hurts more because he's so obviously missing, I can't ignore that around them. It's bittersweet.
May 18, 2012
Grateful
Let's resurrect this bad boy and be grateful for the goodness that manages to shine through the bad. This week I am grateful for:
* new tattoos for both C and me. To me, there is nothing sexier than a man with ink!
* steady progress on the new house, we're getting the granite installed next week!
* motorcycle rides with C, I love feeling that wind and feeling so free
* a wonderful vet that calmed me down after finding ticks on the dogs
* seeing the fun return to our marriage as we reconnect and strengthen our bond
* long talks with my Mom, I'd be lost without her
Mother's Day was harder than I anticipated. I just watched movies all day and avoided the internet, didn't even call my Mom until that night. I am dreading Father's Day with the fire of a thousand suns.
* new tattoos for both C and me. To me, there is nothing sexier than a man with ink!
* steady progress on the new house, we're getting the granite installed next week!
* motorcycle rides with C, I love feeling that wind and feeling so free
* a wonderful vet that calmed me down after finding ticks on the dogs
* seeing the fun return to our marriage as we reconnect and strengthen our bond
* long talks with my Mom, I'd be lost without her
Mother's Day was harder than I anticipated. I just watched movies all day and avoided the internet, didn't even call my Mom until that night. I am dreading Father's Day with the fire of a thousand suns.
March 18, 2011
Friday!
woo, it's Friday! My hubby isn't working this weekend and it's absolutely gorgeous outside, I am one happy lady! It's been a nice, quiet week and it was just want I needed. I did some shopping, hung out with a friend and did some drinking in celebration of St. Patrick's Day...perfection!
This week I am grateful for:
* warm, breezy Spring weather!
* getting my hands dirty and planting peonies and hydrangea...my favorite flowers!
* pulling out my beach towels, shorts and flip flops...but not so much my bathing suits : /
* finding the perfect pink nail polish for my toes
* long FB "wars" with my brother and sister where we post embarrassing memories about each other
* getting my Easter decor down from the attic and finally putting my Christmas decor back up there!
* the tears of happiness I cried over Mommy-in-Waiting's great, wonderful news; I have so much hope for myself after her great beta. Cheers, my dear, I am over the moon for you!!
I hope the weather is beautiful for all of you this weekend!
This week I am grateful for:
* warm, breezy Spring weather!
* getting my hands dirty and planting peonies and hydrangea...my favorite flowers!
* pulling out my beach towels, shorts and flip flops...but not so much my bathing suits : /
* finding the perfect pink nail polish for my toes
* long FB "wars" with my brother and sister where we post embarrassing memories about each other
* getting my Easter decor down from the attic and finally putting my Christmas decor back up there!
* the tears of happiness I cried over Mommy-in-Waiting's great, wonderful news; I have so much hope for myself after her great beta. Cheers, my dear, I am over the moon for you!!
I hope the weather is beautiful for all of you this weekend!
March 4, 2011
Grateful Friday
Time to remind myself that my life is much more than just IF doom and gloom. I need to get back into the habit of doing this, it always makes me feel better!
This week I am grateful for:
* beautiful Spring-like weather with skies that are multiple shades of blue
* curling up with a new book and getting lost in it
* sweet friends who love you and support you, unconditionally
* laughing with my sister, she gets me like nobody else does
* seeing cute Easter decorations in the stores, how precious are bunnies?!
* my silly dogs, my companions this week as we miss C
* scoring 2 cute pairs of shoes, on sale!
* plans with friends this weekend, the perfect balm for my aching heart
This was a hard week for me, I experienced my first earthquake late Sunday night and it terrified me, it was a 4.7. I was on the phone with C when it happened and I immediately burst into tears, it was so unsettling. It takes a lot to scare me but the earth moving definitely freaks me out. I had a hard time sleeping this week as a result, barely slept at all and almost went crazy from exhaustion. We're also entering tornado season, which also worries me. Things went wrong with my car, I fought with a bank in TX about an account long closed and missed C so damn much. He's now in West Virginia but should be home early next week.
I'm usually a much stronger person but my nerves are shot and I can feel myself slipping. I think it's truly time to get my butt to a doctor for the meds I've been refusing for over a year. I'm depressed and it's time to get help. Why is that so hard for me to admit? ::sigh:: Stupid IF.
Anyway, have a great weekend lovelies.
This week I am grateful for:
* beautiful Spring-like weather with skies that are multiple shades of blue
* curling up with a new book and getting lost in it
* sweet friends who love you and support you, unconditionally
* laughing with my sister, she gets me like nobody else does
* seeing cute Easter decorations in the stores, how precious are bunnies?!
* my silly dogs, my companions this week as we miss C
* scoring 2 cute pairs of shoes, on sale!
* plans with friends this weekend, the perfect balm for my aching heart
This was a hard week for me, I experienced my first earthquake late Sunday night and it terrified me, it was a 4.7. I was on the phone with C when it happened and I immediately burst into tears, it was so unsettling. It takes a lot to scare me but the earth moving definitely freaks me out. I had a hard time sleeping this week as a result, barely slept at all and almost went crazy from exhaustion. We're also entering tornado season, which also worries me. Things went wrong with my car, I fought with a bank in TX about an account long closed and missed C so damn much. He's now in West Virginia but should be home early next week.
I'm usually a much stronger person but my nerves are shot and I can feel myself slipping. I think it's truly time to get my butt to a doctor for the meds I've been refusing for over a year. I'm depressed and it's time to get help. Why is that so hard for me to admit? ::sigh:: Stupid IF.
Anyway, have a great weekend lovelies.
January 7, 2011
What a week
[edited to protect the innocent...and me!]
Anyway, on to the gratitude reminder I so need this week. This week I am grateful for:
* putting away all the Christmas decor and having normal return to our house
* checking off things from our house to do list
* texting with my 12 year old nephew, he's so funny and I adore him
* making dinner more often this week than we dined out (one of our resolutions!)
* making plans to hang out with good friends this weekend
* spending cold days on the couch with C, doing nothing
* a chance of snow this weekend!!
I hope you all have a wonderful weekend and stay warm! Just think, only a couple more months until it starts to warm up again, I can't wait!!
Anyway, on to the gratitude reminder I so need this week. This week I am grateful for:
* putting away all the Christmas decor and having normal return to our house
* checking off things from our house to do list
* texting with my 12 year old nephew, he's so funny and I adore him
* making dinner more often this week than we dined out (one of our resolutions!)
* making plans to hang out with good friends this weekend
* spending cold days on the couch with C, doing nothing
* a chance of snow this weekend!!
I hope you all have a wonderful weekend and stay warm! Just think, only a couple more months until it starts to warm up again, I can't wait!!
October 22, 2010
Stay Busy
I was feeling down the past couple of days. I finally got confirmation from our new insurance that we don't have coverage for any ART procedures, only diagnostics and corrective surgery. The guy did tell me if our doctor would code the meds right, they could be covered...isn't that funny?! I had been so hopeful because the wording in our insurance packet made it sound like IVF was covered so it was such a letdown. I went to Pan.era and blew my diet by stuffing my face with carbs. I had lost a total of five pounds but gained back two thanks to our Halloween party and my carb-fest. le sigh
To distract myself from my IF sadness, I've been keeping busy with busy work. Making lists of things needed for Thanksgiving, gift ideas for Christmas and researching them online, hunting for new flatware and dishware, new bedding for our master, finding projects I want C to tackle and scheduling doctor appointments now that our new insurance is kicking in. I'm having my wisdom teeth removed November 4th, ouch! I'm also going on a girls trip soon to Dallas, excited about that! Keeping busy so I don't obsess over IF, it's working but it's not, know what I mean?
Anyway, on to my grateful list! This week I'm grateful for:
* a successful Halloween party with a minimal hangover
* video chatting with my family
* Pumpkin muffins...OMG, so good!
* waking up to a thunderstorm after a month of no rain
* getting tons of compliments on my Halloween decor, was dubbed the Queen of Halloween!
* sitting around our chiminea with good friends
* finding little love notes C left for me buried under a pile of crap on my desk
* opening my mailbox to find it stuffed with magazines and not bills
* the support I get from all my online buddies
* my amazing, wonderful, loving, supportive, gorgeous C
Do you know that today is? Today is 11 years since C asked me to be his girlfriend, we were 16 and took every opportunity to make out and dream of our future together. It's both better and worse than we ever imagined but we're also stronger than we ever imagined and love each other more than we ever dreamed possible. I'm so lucky to have him.
To distract myself from my IF sadness, I've been keeping busy with busy work. Making lists of things needed for Thanksgiving, gift ideas for Christmas and researching them online, hunting for new flatware and dishware, new bedding for our master, finding projects I want C to tackle and scheduling doctor appointments now that our new insurance is kicking in. I'm having my wisdom teeth removed November 4th, ouch! I'm also going on a girls trip soon to Dallas, excited about that! Keeping busy so I don't obsess over IF, it's working but it's not, know what I mean?
Anyway, on to my grateful list! This week I'm grateful for:
* a successful Halloween party with a minimal hangover
* video chatting with my family
* Pumpkin muffins...OMG, so good!
* waking up to a thunderstorm after a month of no rain
* getting tons of compliments on my Halloween decor, was dubbed the Queen of Halloween!
* sitting around our chiminea with good friends
* finding little love notes C left for me buried under a pile of crap on my desk
* opening my mailbox to find it stuffed with magazines and not bills
* the support I get from all my online buddies
* my amazing, wonderful, loving, supportive, gorgeous C
Do you know that today is? Today is 11 years since C asked me to be his girlfriend, we were 16 and took every opportunity to make out and dream of our future together. It's both better and worse than we ever imagined but we're also stronger than we ever imagined and love each other more than we ever dreamed possible. I'm so lucky to have him.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)