SIlence is bliss?

You know that saying about the path to hell being paved with good intentions? Well, clearly it's true. Which is my way of explaining my long absence. Life got in the way and then I would forget or get busy again and then forget again. Oops! But I've missed getting my thoughts out and am going to try and recommit to this ol' thing. Does anyone even still blog? I feel like everyone has left and is on social media. Makes me sad.

Anyway, nothing has really changed. Still engaged, still chugging away with my slow ass Etsy shop and even slower photography. I've temporarily given up on job hunting because it's depressing as hell. I'm tired of being poor though and pray things pick up. Or I win the lottery, which I don't play, or that I get inheritance from a long lost relative...you know, anything that is totally logical and realistic!

M and I were in a car accident about a month ago. We were rear-ended by a school bus, a legit yellow school bus, which did have a couple of high school kids on it. None of them were hurt, thankfully. I ended up with a concussion and M with a hurt back. I've never had a concussion before and it's been a challenge, to say the least. The memory problems scare me, calling items by the wrong name is also concerning, and the headaches are a real downer.

It so happened that the accident occurred on our four year anniversary. Terrific timing, yes? We were running errands before coming home to cook a romantic dinner. Ended up in an ambulance and falling into bed late that night exhausted and sore and hurting like crazy instead. We are very fortunate that it wasn't much worse. My car has already been repaired and I'm thankful for that as well.

It's been a hard Summer, y'all. A real ass kicker. I hope like crazy things turn around soon because I feel like I'm about to lose my ever-loving mind.

What Should Have Been

I've got a good life, I'm happy and healthy and strong. I'm surrounded by family and friends. My dogs are awesome, my boyfriend is amazing. My future looks bright. It's much smoother sailing than it has been in a long time. So you can imagine my annoyance when shit from my divorce pops up. It's like being on a hike through beautiful scenery and suddenly stepping in a huge pile of dog shit. Everything is still beautiful, but fuck are you pissed about the dog shit.

I had a nightmare about XH Sunday night and spent all of yesterday in the bitchiest mood. I think it's because today would have been my 8 year wedding anniversary. I don't miss him, or want him back, but it's still bothering me. And that pisses me off. It's my big ol' stinky pile of dog shit. Damn it all.

I can't help but think about the past today and wonder about what might have been. Thoughts that are all very useless but flood my mind anyway. I know tomorrow will be better and I know that by next week, XH won't even be a thought in my mind. But today? Today can go suck it.

I'm leaving for vacation Friday, my first with M. A day in NOLA and then 3 days in Panama City Beach followed by an OOT wedding that he's in. I'm excited to experience these cities with him, he's never been to either. I've been to both with XH. Maybe I'm a glutton for punishment? Ugh.

4 Years Ago...

The day had finally arrived, after being engaged for 23 very long months, we were finally getting married! The excitement, the anticipation, the down-right-giddiness was just radiating from everyone it seemed.

We said our vows in the Church where we grew up, it was downright dreamy that day.




As I slipped into my wedding finery surrounded by my sister, sisters-in-law, cousins, aunts, my Mom, my Mother-in-law and dear friends, I was calm and enjoying every beautiful moment.





As my wonderful Dad walked me down the aisle to my love, I couldn't help but grin the entire way.




During our hour long Catholic Mass, everyone else disappeared and we were in our own world. Whispering, giggling, staring into each others eyes and like magic, we were husband and wife. (In this picture, we're praying to the Virgin Mary.)




So, surrounded by all the people we love best, we began our journey.




The party stretched on until midnight, with lots of dancing and drinking, until we slipped away and stayed our first night as Mr & Mrs in a fabulous hotel on the Gulf.





It was my dream wedding and I love watching our video every July 15th. C and I always drag out our personalized toasting glasses and toast another year of marriage and make promises for the new one. I wouldn't change a thing and I can't wait to see where this year will take us. It's been quite the roller coaster but I can't imagine being on this ride with anyone else.

3 Years and IF later...

Our wedding anniversary was this past week, three years already. Wow, it went by so fast and now here we are. I never imagined in my wildest dreams that this is the road we would be taking. When your planning and dreaming of your future, you never contemplate that things might go to shit. We have accomplished a lot in our short marriage but it's what is unattainable that is killing us. I sit here, on an anniversary high, knowing that AF will be arriving in the next couple of days. Talk about a buzz kill! Still awaiting the SA results and to schedule my HSG, fun times ahead. But, enough IF crap, I want to be sappy about my husband!


C is my best friend, he never fails to make me laugh my ass off and he is always willing to take part in my crazy schemes. He usually just grins and bares whatever I end up getting us into. He loves adventure just as much a I do and we have as much in common as we don't. I wish we weren't dealing with IF but I can't imagine a better partner in this journey then C. Here's to the next 50 years, can't wait to see what lies ahead!